FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH  (THE PLANET  WHERE  I LIVE) A 
 LOT OF  US HAVE ANTENNAS  ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,  WE   HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE  BUILT LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT  AN ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT  OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT   IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR  LOCAL  CLUSTERS  PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS MOVING  TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING SPACE 
 AT  THE SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO        ONE      HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE STAR  (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T  THAT   KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I  THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING  (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA GO  SMOKE MY  THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND  TRY TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING