RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨##¨¨¨¨##¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨¨######¨
¨#¨#¨¨¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨¨¨¨¨#
#####¨¨### THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #####¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨#¨#¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨¨####¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨#¨¨¨##¨¨#
¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ###¨¨#¨#¨#
###¨¨##¨¨# ¨¨¨#¨#####
¨¨¨#¨#¨#¨# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨####### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ##¨##¨##¨¨
¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨##¨##¨#¨
¨¨¨#¨#¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨#¨##¨###
#¨¨####¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨###¨##¨¨
##¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###¨¨##¨#¨
#¨###¨¨##¨ ¨¨¨#¨#¨###
¨##¨¨#¨#¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨#####¨¨
¨#¨#¨##### CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
¨#####¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#¨##¨¨¨##
##¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨###¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨¨¨##¨¨ OPERATION. ¨#¨¨###¨##
¨###¨¨#¨#¨ ###¨#¨¨##¨
¨#¨¨#¨#### SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #¨¨###¨#¨#
###¨###¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##¨#¨¨####
¨¨¨##¨¨#¨¨ #¨###¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨#¨##¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨##¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨#####¨# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨## #######¨##
#¨¨##¨¨¨#¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #¨¨¨¨¨¨##¨
##¨#¨#¨¨## ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨#
¨¨#####¨#¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ###¨¨¨¨###
#¨#¨¨¨¨### ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨
####¨¨¨#¨¨ ¨#¨##¨¨##¨
#¨¨¨#¨¨##¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ####¨#¨#¨#
¨#¨¨##¨#¨# ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #¨¨¨######
###¨#¨#### ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨
#¨¨####¨¨¨ ¨##¨##¨¨¨¨
##¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨#¨##¨#¨¨¨
#¨###¨¨##¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨###¨###¨¨
###¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##¨¨##¨¨#¨
#¨¨#¨##### ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨##
¨#¨###¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨########¨
¨###¨¨#¨¨¨ ¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
##¨¨#¨##¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ###¨¨¨¨¨¨#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.