FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE PLANET  WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE  ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,  WE   HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE  BUILT LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY  BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE  LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS  PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER OF  THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE GALAXY IS  MOVING  TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND WE AS A  SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT  IS OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE      HAS        ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T   THAT   KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I  THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA GO  SMOKE  MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING