RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
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.§...§.§§. ....§.....
..§....§§. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN §....§....
...§...§§§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .§....§...
....§..§.§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..§....§..
.....§...§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §..§....§.
......§..§ .§..§....§
§......§.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..§..§....
.§......§. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...§..§...
..§......§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ....§..§..
...§...... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .....§..§.
....§..... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ......§..§
§....§.... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .......§..
.§....§... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §.......§.
..§....§.. .§.......§
§..§....§. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..§.......
.§..§....§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...§......
..§..§.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....§.....
...§..§... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....§....
....§..§.. OPERATION. ......§...
.....§..§. .......§..
......§..§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY §.......§.
.......§.. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .§.......§
§.......§. ..§.......
.§.......§ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §..§......
..§....... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» .§..§.....
...§...... ..§..§....
....§..... »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» §..§..§...
.....§.... »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» .§..§..§..
......§... »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ..§..§..§.
.......§.. »»# AND AT EASE #»» ...§..§..§
§.......§. §...§..§..
.§.......§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» .§...§..§.
..§....... »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ..§...§..§
§..§...... »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ...§...§..
.§..§..... §...§...§.
..§..§.... »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» .§...§...§
§..§..§... »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ..§...§...
.§..§..§.. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ...§...§..
..§..§..§. »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ....§...§.
...§..§..§ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» §....§...§
§...§..§.. §§....§...
.§...§..§. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §§§....§..
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.