RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....#.##. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .##..#....
.......### .###..#...
.......#.# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .#.##..#..
.........# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...###..#.
.........# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...#.##..#
#......... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .....###..
.#........ .....#.##.
..#....... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #......###
#..#...... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ##.....#.#
##..#..... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .##......#
.##..#.... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .###.....#
.###..#... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .#.##.....
.#.##..#.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...###....
...###..#. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...#.##...
...#.##..# .....###..
.....###.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #....#.##.
.....#.##. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .#.....###
#......### COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..#....#.#
##.....#.# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #..#.....#
.##......# OPERATION. .#..#....#
.###.....# ..#..#....
.#.##..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #..#..#...
...###.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .#..#..#..
...#.##... ..#..#..#.
.....###.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ...#..#..#
#....#.##. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ....#..#..
.#.....### #....#..#.
..#....#.# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .#....#..#
#..#.....# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..#....#..
.#..#....# ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ...#....#.
..#..#.... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #...#....#
#..#..#... .#...#....
.#..#..#.. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..#...#...
..#..#..#. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #..#...#..
...#..#..# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ##..#...#.
....#..#.. ###..#...#
#....#..#. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.##..#...
.#....#..# ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..###..#..
..#....#.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ..#.##..#.
...#....#. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ....###..#
#...#....# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ....#.##..
.#...#.... ......###.
..#...#... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ......#.##
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.