RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨ ---------------------------------------- §¨¨¨§¨¨§¨§
¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§                                          ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER  IS A VERY  COMMON TOOL  IN ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS  EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨ ITS JOB  IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF  SMALL ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT  OF TIME. §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨                                          §§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨ MOST  WORK ON  THE PRINCIPLES OF  POSING ¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ THE  PROBLEM ON A  HILBERT PLANE,  WHICH ¨§§§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS  THEN  FOLDED OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO ¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ THAT  DAEMONS  CAN   SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM ¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨    WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE   §¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE ¨§¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         ¨¨§¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨                                          ¨¨¨§¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨§
§§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ COMPUTER,  OR TO THE  DAEMONS  DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨¨¨§¨ WORK,  FOR  A   QUICK  AND  FAULT   FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨§                OPERATION.                ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§§§¨¨    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨§¨§§¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨§§§      --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #--      §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨§        --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #--        ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§                                          ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§     --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #--     ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨    --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #--    §¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨     --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #--     ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§           --# AND AT EASE #--            ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          §¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨     --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #--     ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨     --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #--     ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨   --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #--   §¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          ¨§¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨    --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #--   ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨     --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #--    ¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨    --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #--     §¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨      --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #--     ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨       --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #--        ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨                                          §¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
           ^^^-^      ^  --^   ^            -^   ^-           
           ^      ^^     ^     ^     ¨     ^¨     ¨           
           ¨            ¨                  =      ¨           
                               ¨                              
                                                              
                                                              
           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO     BE     A    KIND    OF    PRAYER?           
           AS   IN,   YOU   MAKE   A    CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,    AND   USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS   IN,  YOU'RE  USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D  ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL   OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE    HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF   IT.