METALS                  
                                    
                                          
 HEY  HUM. METALS ARE  USED  FOR MAGIC OR 
 CONSTRUCTION OF LARGE OR SPECIAL THINGS. 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 COPPER   USED  FOR  CLOCKS  AND  BELLS, 
 COMMUNICATING WITH  OLD  BEINGS, AND  BY 
         IDIOTS FOR KILLING TREES         
                                          
 MERCURY    USED  FOR  PROLONGING  LIFE, 
 TRANSFERRING INTO OTHER DIMENSIONS, AND  
           FOR ELECTRICAL LIGHTS          
                                          
 SILVER  THE MOON  METAL, USED  TO  LURE 
 AND  COMMUNICATE  WITH  CANINES, AND  TO 
     KEEP SAFE DURING MOONLIT NIGHTS      
                                          
           BRONZE IS ALSO GOOD.           
                                          
           IRON IS A NOOB METAL