^......... .........^
.......... ..........
.......... ..........
.......... ..........
^......... .........^
~^........ .. ^^ ~~ THE GOLDEN ~~ ^^ .. ........^~
*~^....... ##@#%% M %%#@## .......^~*
%*~^...... ......^~*%
%%*~^..... LETS HEAR IT FOR .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... *** MC DONALDS *** ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... ...^~*%%##
###%%*~^.. WHAT CAN I DO YA FOR ..^~*%%###
####%%*~^. .^~*%%####
###%%*~^.. ^ CHEESEBURGER ^ ..^~*%%###
##%%*~^... ^ NUGGETS ^ ...^~*%%##
#%%*~^.... ^ DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER ^ ....^~*%%#
%%*~^..... ^ FRIES ^ .....^~*%%
%*~^...... ^ CARBONATED WATER ^ ......^~*%
*~^....... ^ BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE ^ .......^~*
~^........ ^ BIG MAC ^ ........^~
^......... ^ COFFEE ^ .........^
.......... ..........
.......... ##### * ##### ..........
.......... ..........
^......... IT ALL BEGAN A THOUSAND YEARS AGO IN .........^
~^........ LIKE THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY. A DARK ........^~
*~^....... FIGURE EMERGED FROM A TAVERN AFTER A .......^~*
%*~^...... FEW YEARS APPRENTICESHIP, WITH AN IDEA. ......^~*%
%%*~^..... IT WAS ILLEGAL TO SELL FOOD IN THE .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... ...^~*%%##
###%%*~^.. BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE. ..^~*%%###
####%%*~^. .^~*%%####
###%%*~^.. SHE BEGAN PUTTING DRIED LIZARD MEAT ..^~*%%###
##%%*~^... BETWEEN TWO BREAD SLICES, OPERATING OUT ...^~*%%##
#%%*~^.... OF A CART, NOT STAYING IN THE SAME ....^~*%%#
%%*~^..... PLACE LONG. IN THE DAY SHE SLEPT, IN .....^~*%%
%*~^...... THE EVE SHE SOLD HER WARES, AND IN THE ......^~*%
*~^....... NIGHT SHE POACHED. .......^~*
~^........ ........^~
^......... AFTER A FEW YEARS, MARIGOLDS FOOD CART .........^
.......... HAD A REPUTATION. SHE CALLED IT ..........
.......... ^. THE GOLDEN M .^ ..........
.......... AND PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT THE GOLDEN M. ..........
^......... THE OLD TAVERN HAD THEIR MONOPOLY AND .........^
~^........ DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH. ........^~
*~^....... MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS .......^~*
%*~^...... NEW AND FRESH. ......^~*%
%%*~^..... .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... HOWEVER, SHE BECAME A LITTLE TOO WELL ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... KNOWN. THE TAVERNS MEN HOT ON HER ...^~*%%##
###%%*~^.. TRAIL, SHE COULD STAY A SHORTER AND ..^~*%%###
####%%*~^. SHORTER TIME IN EACH LOCATION. SHE FELT .^~*%%####
###%%*~^.. HUNTED. AND SOON ENOUGH THERE CAME A ..^~*%%###
##%%*~^... TIME WHEN THEY STARTED WATCHING FOR HER ...^~*%%##
#%%*~^.... AT THE GATES OF EVERY VILLAGE. ....^~*%%#
%%*~^..... .....^~*%%
%*~^...... SO SHE HID THE CART, AND DISAPPEARED, ......^~*%
*~^....... FOREVER. .......^~*
~^........ ........^~
^......... ### * ### .........^
.......... ..........
.......... AFTER THIRTY YEARS, A MAN NAMED ..........
.......... NICHOLAS FOUND THE CART. HE WAS A ..........
^......... CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE .........^
~^........ (CURSED, I MEAN)) AND AS SUCH HE OF ........^~
*~^....... COURSE THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA TO FOLLOW .......^~*
%*~^...... IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS. ......^~*%
%%*~^..... .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... HE WASN'T ALL THAT OF A COOK, AND EVEN ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED THE GOLDEN M, HE ...^~*%%##
###%%*~^.. QUICKLY FELL INTO INFAMITY. HOWEVER HE ..^~*%%###
####%%*~^. WAS KIND OF A HARDHAT AND DIDN'T STOP .^~*%%####
###%%*~^.. TRYING. THE TAVERN DIDN'T CARE FOR HIM ..^~*%%###
##%%*~^... SINCE NOBODY BOUGHT HIS FOOD ANYWAY ...^~*%%##
#%%*~^.... (AND ALSO THEY HAD EXPANDED TOO ....^~*%%#
%%*~^..... QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND .....^~*%%
%*~^...... WAS IN THE PROCESS OF FALLING APART). ......^~*%
*~^....... .......^~*
~^........ ANGRY AT EVERYONE FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING ........^~
^......... HIS FOOD, HE VOWED TO LEAVE .........^
.......... KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY. ..........
.......... ..........
.......... WHICH HE DID. ..........
^......... .........^
~^........ ## * ## ........^~
*~^....... .......^~*
%*~^...... WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW HE TRAVELED ......^~*%
%%*~^..... OR WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED UP ON .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... EARTH IN THE FIFTIES. ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... UPON FINDING OUT THAT EARTH HOLDS NO ...^~*%%##
###%%*~^.. EDIBLE LIZARDS, HE SETTLED FOR COW MEAT ..^~*%%###
####%%*~^. INSTEAD, AND TO HIS JOY, THE EARTH FOLK .^~*%%####
###%%*~^.. LIKED IT! ..^~*%%###
##%%*~^... ...^~*%%##
#%%*~^.... THEN HE GOT SCAMMED OUT OF THE CART BY ....^~*%%#
%%*~^..... A MAN NAMED MICKEY MAC DONALDS, WHO .....^~*%%
%*~^...... RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF. ......^~*%
*~^....... WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY .......^~*
~^........ FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO ........^~
^......... THE PROJECT, AND QUICKLY EXPANDED ALL .........^
.......... OVER THE PLANET. ..........
.......... ..........
.......... # * # ..........
^......... .........^
~^........ AND THE REST IS HISTORY! ........^~
*~^....... .......^~*
%*~^...... ......^~*%
%%*~^..... .....^~*%%
#%%*~^.... ....^~*%%#
##%%*~^... ...^~*%%##