dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i  realize  i  can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief,  such  is my nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if  you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick on  the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do  with a cat 
 who  comes  to close to your sandwich...