dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to  piece   together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my  vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile.  i can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize  i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such is  my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything of  this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick on  the  nose, that's 
 what these are. like  you do with  a cat 
 who comes  to close  to your sandwich...