dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind. it's  like 
 language,  sentences i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my nature.  turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on  the  nose, that's 
 what these  are. like you do  with a cat 
 who  comes to  close to your sandwich...