dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything is  completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my  vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in  my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize  i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting... but  time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are  still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick on  the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you  do with  a cat 
 who  comes to close  to your sandwich...