dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on  the nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you do  with a  cat 
 who comes to  close to  your sandwich...