dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to  piece   together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all  over  my vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize  i  can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief, such is  my  nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen  if you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on  the  nose, that's 
 what these are. like you  do with a  cat 
 who comes to close  to your  sandwich...