RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&&&¨¨&&¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&&&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&&&&&¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&¨&&&¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&¨¨¨&&¨&
&&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ¨¨&&&¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&&&&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨&&&¨¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&¨&&&&&&
&&¨&¨&&¨&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&&&¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨¨&&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨¨&¨¨&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨
&&¨&&¨&&&¨ &¨&&&&¨&&¨
&¨&&¨&&¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨¨&&¨&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
&&¨&&¨&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&&&¨&&&¨
&¨&&¨&&¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
&&¨&&¨&&&¨ ¨&¨&¨&&&&&
¨¨&&¨&&¨¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&&&& &¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &&&&¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&¨&¨&¨¨ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &¨¨¨&¨&&&&
&¨&¨&&&&&¨ ¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨&&¨&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &&¨&&&¨&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&&
&¨&&¨&&&&& ¨¨&&&&&&&¨
&&&¨&&¨¨¨¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&&¨¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&¨&&&¨¨&¨ &&&¨&&¨¨¨&
&&&&¨¨&¨&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨&&&¨ --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨¨&¨&&&¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
¨&&¨&&¨&&& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&¨&&¨&&&&
&&¨&&¨&&¨¨ &¨&&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨&&¨&¨ ---------------------------------------- &&&¨&&¨&¨¨
...-. . --. . -. .-
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.