RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨@ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨¨ @@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨@@@¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨@¨@@¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @¨¨¨@@@¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@ ¨@¨¨@¨@@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨@¨¨¨@@@¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨¨@¨¨@¨@@
@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨@¨¨@¨¨¨@@
@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨
@@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨
@¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨¨@¨¨@¨¨
¨¨@@@¨¨@¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@@¨¨@¨¨@¨
¨¨@¨@@¨¨@¨ ¨@@@¨¨@¨¨@
@¨¨¨@@@¨¨@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@¨@@¨¨@¨¨
¨@¨¨@¨@@¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨@@@¨¨@¨
¨¨@¨¨¨@@@¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨@
@¨¨@¨¨@¨@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
¨@¨¨@¨¨¨@@ OPERATION. ¨@¨¨¨@¨@@¨
¨¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨ ¨¨@¨¨¨¨@@@
@¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @¨¨@¨¨¨@¨@
@@¨¨@¨¨@¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨@@¨¨@¨¨@¨ @@@¨¨@¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨¨@¨¨@ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» @¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨@¨@@¨¨@¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨@@@¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨@@@¨¨@¨ ¨¨@¨@@¨¨@¨
¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨@ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» @¨¨¨@@@¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨@¨¨@¨@@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨@¨@@¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨@¨¨¨@@@¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨@@@ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨¨¨@¨¨@¨@@
@¨¨@¨¨¨@¨@ ¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@
@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@¨
@@@¨¨@¨¨¨@ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨
@¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨
¨¨@@@¨¨@¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨@¨@@¨¨@¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» @¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨@@@¨¨@ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» @@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨¨@¨@@¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨@@@¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@¨¨@¨@@ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@ ¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨
,,,», , »», , », ,»
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.