RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨¨&&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨&
&&¨&&&&&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&&&&&&¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&&&¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&&¨&¨¨&&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨&¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&&&&&¨¨&
&¨&¨¨&&&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&&
&&¨¨&&&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&&¨ &¨&¨&¨¨&&¨
&&&&&&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&¨&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&¨¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨ OPERATION. &¨&&&¨&¨&¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& &&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨&&&&¨&¨&
&¨¨¨&&&&&& &&&¨¨¨&&&&
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨&&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨&¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨&¨&&¨&¨
¨&&&¨&&&¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨&&&&¨&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&&¨¨&¨&¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&&¨¨¨&¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨¨¨&¨¨&&&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨¨&&¨&¨¨
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&¨&¨&&&¨
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
&&&&&¨¨¨¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.