RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.#####.#.# ---------------------------------------- .#..#####.
.#....#### ###.#....#
###...#... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...###...#
...#..##.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #..#..#..#
#..##.#.#. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##.##.##.#
.#.#.##### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..##.##.##
######.... ..#.##.##.
#.....#... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #.###.##.#
.#....##.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ###..##.##
###...#.#. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...#.#.##.
#..#..#### THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...#####.#
.#.##.#... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...#....##
####.###.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...##...#.
#...##..#. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...#.#..##
.#..#.#.## ...####.#.
.##.#####. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...#...###
##.##....# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...##..#..
#.##.#...# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #..#.#.##.
###.###..# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##.#####.#
...##..#.# OPERATION. ..##....##
#..#.#.### #.#.#...#.
##.#####.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .#####..##
..##....#. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .#....#.#.
..#.#...## .##...####
#.####..#. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ##.#..#...
###...#.## --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- #.###.##..
#..#..###. ###..##.#.
##.##.#..# --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- #..#.#.###
..##.###.# --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ##.#####..
..#.##..## --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ..##....#.
..###.#.#. --# AND AT EASE #-- ..#.#...##
#.#..##### ..####..#.
####.#.... --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ..#...#.##
....###... --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- #.##..###.
....#..#.. --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- .##.#.#..#
#...##.##. .#.#####.#
.#..#.##.# --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ####....##
###.###.## --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ....#...#.
#..##..##. --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- #...##..##
.#.#.#.#.# --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ##..#.#.#.
.######### --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- #.#.######
##........ #####.....
#.#....... ---------------------------------------- .....#....
...-. . --. . -. .-
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.