RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&&..&..& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...&&&&&&&
&.&.&.&&.& &..&......
&&&&&&&.&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&.&&.....
&......&&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&&.&....
&&.....&.& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&..&&&...
&.&....&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &.&.&..&..
&&&&...&.. .&&&&&.&&.
&...&..&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&....&&.&
.&..&&.&.& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&...&.&&
&&&.&.&&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &..&..&&&.
&..&&&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&.&&.&..&
.&.&...&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &.&&.&&&.&
&&&&&..&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&&.&&..&&
.....&.&.& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&.&&.&.&.
.....&&&&& &.&&.&&&&&
&....&.... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&.&&....
&&...&&... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&.&&.&...
&.&..&.&.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&.&&&..
&&&&.&&&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ....&&..&.
&...&&...& OPERATION. &...&.&.&&
.&..&.&..& .&..&&&&&.
.&&.&&&&.& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&.&....&
&&.&&...&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &..&&&...&
..&&.&..&. .&.&..&..&
&.&.&&&.&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .&&&&.&&.&
.&&&&..&&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&...&&.&&
&&...&.&.& ..&..&.&&.
&.&..&&&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &.&&.&&&.&
.&&&.&.... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&.&&..&&
&&..&&&... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ...&&.&.&.
&.&.&..&.. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &..&.&&&&&
.&&&&&.&&. &&.&&&....
.&....&&.& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &.&&..&...
.&&...&.&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&.&.&&..
.&.&..&&&. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &..&&&&.&.
.&&&&.&..& &&.&...&&&
&&...&&&.& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&&&..&..
&.&..&..&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &.&..&.&&.
&&&&.&&.&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .&&&.&&&.&
....&&.&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .&..&&..&&
&...&.&&.. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .&&.&.&.&.
&&..&&&.&. &&.&&&&&&&
..&.&..&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&&......
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . * .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.