RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&& ======================================== &&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&¨¨&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨&&&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&&&&¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&&&&&&¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ &&&&&&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&&&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&&&&&&&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &&&&&&&&&&
¨&&&&¨¨&&& ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨&&&&&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨&&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&&&& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨&&&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&&& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&¨¨&&&&&&¨ &&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ ======================================== &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.