RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@¨¨¨@¨@@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @¨@¨@¨@@¨@
@@¨¨@@@¨@¨ @@@@@@¨@@@
¨@¨@¨¨@@@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨@@¨¨¨
@@@@¨@¨¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨@¨@¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@¨@@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨@@@@¨¨@
¨¨@¨¨@@¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨@¨¨¨@¨@@
¨@@¨@¨@@@@ ¨@@¨¨@@@¨@
@¨@@@@¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @¨@¨@¨¨@@@
@@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@@@@¨@¨¨¨
¨@¨¨@@¨¨¨@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨@
@@¨@¨@¨¨@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨@¨¨@¨@@
¨@@@@@¨@@@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨@@¨@@@¨¨
@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨@¨@@¨¨@¨¨
@¨¨¨@¨@¨@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @@@¨@¨@@¨@
@¨¨@@@@@¨@ ¨¨@@@@¨@@¨
@¨@¨¨¨¨@@@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@¨¨¨@@¨@@
@@@¨¨¨@¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@¨¨@¨@@¨¨
¨¨@¨¨@@¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨@¨@@@¨@¨@
¨@@¨@¨@¨¨@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@@¨¨@@@@@
@¨@@@@@¨@@ OPERATION. ¨¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@
@@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨ ¨@@@@¨¨¨@¨
¨@¨¨¨@¨@¨@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @¨¨¨@¨¨@@@
@@¨¨@@@@@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @¨¨@@¨@¨¨@
¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨ @¨@¨@@@¨@¨
@@@@¨¨¨@@@ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @@@@¨¨@@@¨
¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨@¨@¨¨@@
¨¨@@¨@@¨¨@ ¨¨@@@@¨@¨@
¨@¨@@¨@¨@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨@¨¨¨@@@@@
@@@¨@@@@¨@ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@@¨¨¨@@@ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨@¨@@¨¨¨@¨
¨@¨@¨¨@¨¨@ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@@¨@¨¨@@¨
@@@@¨@@¨@@ ¨¨@@@¨@¨@¨
¨¨¨@@¨@@¨@ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨@¨¨@@@@@@
¨¨@¨@@¨@@@ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @@¨@¨¨¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨@@¨¨@ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨@@@¨¨¨¨@@
@¨¨@@¨@¨@¨ @¨¨@¨¨¨@¨@
@¨@¨@@@@@@ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @¨@@¨¨@@@¨
@@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @@¨@¨@¨¨@@
¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨@@@@@¨@¨¨
¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
¨@¨@¨¨¨@¨@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨
@@@@¨¨@@@@ @¨¨@@¨@@¨¨
¨¨¨@¨@¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @¨@¨@@¨@¨@
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.