RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&&&&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨¨&&&&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨&
&&&&&&¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
¨¨&&&&¨¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨&&&&¨¨&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&&&&& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&& --# AND AT EASE #-- &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ¨&&&&¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&&&&¨¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨&&&&&&&&
¨&&&&&&¨¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &¨¨&&&&&&¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
...-. . --. . -. .-
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.