RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&.....&... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
..&&&...&& &&&&&&&&&.
&..&..&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&..
.......... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&&&&&...
&&&&&&&&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..&&&&..&&
&&&&&&&&.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...&&....&
&&&&&&&..& &&....&&..
.&&&&&.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ...&&.....
..&&&..&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&....&&&&
...&....&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &..&&..&&.
&&...&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..........
...&....&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&&&&&&&.
&&...&&... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&&&&&..
...&....&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &..&&&&...
&&...&&... ....&&..&&
&..&....&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&......&
.....&&... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....&&&&..
&&&&....&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&&..&&..&
&&&..&&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..........
.&......&& OPERATION. &&&&&&&&&.
...&&&&... &&&&&&&&..
&&..&&..&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&&&..&
&........& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&&&&....
..&&&&&&.. ..&&&..&&.
&..&&&&..& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &..&......
....&&.... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....&&&&.
&&&....&&& .&&&..&&..
.&..&&..&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ..&.......
.........& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ....&&&&&&
.&&&&&&&.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&..&&&&.
..&&&&&..& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&....&&..
&..&&&.... &..&&....&
....&..&&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ......&&..
&&&.....&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .&&&&....&
&&..&&&..& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..&&..&&..
.....&.... &.........
&&&&...&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&&&&&&&&
&&&..&..&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &..&&&&&&&
&&........ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ....&&&&&&
&..&&&&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&..&&&&&
....&&&&&. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&....&&&&
.&&..&&&.. &..&&..&&.
......&..& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.