RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
####..##.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .##.#..##.
#...#.#.#. ##.###.#.#
.#..###### THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #.##..####
###.#..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ###.#.#...
#..###.... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...#####..
##.#..#... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #..#....#.
#.###.##.. ##.##...##
.##..##.#. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #.##.#..#.
.#.#.#.### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ###.###.##
########.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #..##..##.
#.......#. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##.#.#.#.#
.#......## WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..########
###.....#. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#.......
#..#....## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #.##......
##.##...#. .##.#.....
#.##.#..## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .#.###....
###.###.#. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ####..#...
#..##..### COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....#.##..
##.#.#.#.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #...###.#.
#.#######. OPERATION. .#..#..###
.##......# ###.##.#..
.#.#.....# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #..##.###.
.####....# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .#.#.##..#
##...#...# ######.#.#
..#..##..# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #.....####
#.##.#.#.# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .#....#...
###.###### ###...##..
#..##..... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ...#..#.#.
##.#.#.... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ #..##.####
..#####... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .#.#.##...
..#....#.. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ######.#..
..##...##. #.....###.
..#.#..#.# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .#....#..#
#.####.### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ###...##.#
.##...##.. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #..#..#.##
##.#..#.#. ##.##.###.
#.###.#### ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.##.##..#
.##..##... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .##.##.#.#
##.#.#.#.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .#.##.####
..#######. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ####.##...
..#......# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #...##.#..
..##.....# .#..#.###.
..#.#....# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .##.###..#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.