RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&.&..&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .....&&..&
&....&..&. &....&&&..
.&....&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&...&.&&.
..&....&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..&....&&&
&..&....&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...&...&.&
&&..&....& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ....&....&
.&&..&.... .....&...&
.&&&..&... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.....&...
.&.&&..&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&.....&..
...&&&..&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&.....&.
...&.&&..& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...&.....&
&....&&&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &...&.....
.&...&.&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&...&....
..&....&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&...&...
...&...&.& &..&...&..
....&....& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&..&...&.
.....&...& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&..&...&
&.....&... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &.&&..&...
.&.....&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..&&&..&..
..&.....&. OPERATION. ..&.&&..&.
...&.....& &...&&&..&
&...&..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&..&.&&..
.&...&.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&...&&&.
..&...&... .&&&..&.&&
&..&...&.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .&.&&...&&
&&..&...&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ...&&&..&.
&&&..&...& ...&.&&...
&.&&..&... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .....&&&..
..&&&..&.. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .....&.&&.
..&.&&..&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .......&&&
&...&&&..& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &......&.&
&&..&.&&.. &&.......&
.&&...&&&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .&&......&
.&&&..&.&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .&&&......
.&.&&...&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .&.&&.....
...&&&..&. ...&&&....
...&.&&... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ...&.&&...
.....&&&.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &....&&&..
.....&.&&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .&...&.&&.
.......&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..&....&&&
&......&.& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...&...&.&
&&.......& &...&....&
.&&......& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&...&...&
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - . -. .
. . ^ .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.