RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&&¨&¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&&¨ &&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&&&¨&&&&
&¨&&&¨&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&¨¨&&¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&&&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&& &¨¨&&&&&&¨
&&¨&&&&¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&&&&¨&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&¨&&¨¨&&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&&&¨&¨&¨¨& ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨&¨¨&&&&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&&¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨ OPERATION. &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨&&& ¨&¨&&&&¨&&
&¨&&&¨&&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&¨¨¨&&¨
&&&¨¨&&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨&¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨&¨&¨&&& &¨&¨&&¨&&&
&¨¨&&&&&¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&&&&¨&&¨¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&&¨¨¨&& &&¨¨¨&¨&&&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨&¨&&¨&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&&&&&¨&&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨¨&&&¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&¨&¨¨&&¨
&¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨&&&&&¨&¨&
¨&&&¨¨&&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&¨&&&&¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨&& &¨¨&&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&&&&
¨&¨¨¨&&¨&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&¨&&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&¨&&&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&&¨¨&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨ &&¨&&¨&&&&
&&&¨¨¨&&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&&¨&&¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.