RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨& ---------------------------------------- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.