RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....###... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#.......
###..#..## #...######
##.......# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..#..#####
#..#####.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ......####
....###..# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #####..###
.##..#.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .###....#.
.......### ..#..##...
######..## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #.......##
#####....# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..#####..#
####..##.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...###....
.##......# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##..#..##.
....####.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..........
###..##..# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ##########
##........ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .#########
#..####### ..########
....###### IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #..#######
.##..##### CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....#####.
......#### COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ###..###..
#####..### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##....#..#
####....## OPERATION. ...##.....
.##..##..# ##....###.
.......... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...##..#..
#########. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##.......#
########.. ...#####..
.######..# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ##..###...
..####.... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....#..##
...##..### ####......
##......## ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .##..#####
#..####... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ......####
....##..## ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .####..###
.##....... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ..##....#.
....###### .....##...
###..##### ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ####....##
##....#### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .##..##..#
#..##..### ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..........
........## .########.
#######... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..######..
.#####..## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ...####...
..###..... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##..##..##
...#..#### ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #.........
##.....##. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..########
#..###.... ...#######
....#..### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##..######
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.