RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
......###. ---------------------------------------- ....#..##.
......#.## .....#.###
#.......## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #......#.#
##......#. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .#.......#
.##....... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..#......#
.###...... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...#......
.#.##..... #...#.....
...###.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .#...#....
...#.##... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..#...#...
.....###.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #..#...#..
.....#.##. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##..#...#.
.......### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ###..#...#
#......#.# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #.##..#...
.#.......# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..###..#..
..#......# ..#.##..#.
...#...... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ....###..#
#...#..... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....#.##..
.#...#.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ......###.
..#...#... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ......#.##
#..#...#.. OPERATION. #.......##
##..#...#. ##......#.
###..#...# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ###.......
#.##..#... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: #.##......
..###..#.. ..###.....
..#.##..#. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ..#.##....
....###..# --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ....###...
....#.##.. #...#.##..
......###. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ##....###.
......#.## --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ###...#.##
#.......## --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- #.##....##
##......#. --# AND AT EASE #-- ..###...#.
###....... ..#.##....
#.##...... --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ....###...
..###..... --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ....#.##..
..#.##.... --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ......###.
....###... ......#.##
#...#.##.. --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ........##
##....###. --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ........#.
###...#.## --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ..........
#.##....## --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ..........
..###...#. --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ..........
..#.##.... ..........
....###... ---------------------------------------- ..........
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.