RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....#.##.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##....#.#.
...###.#.. .#...####.
..#..###.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##..#...#.
.##.#..#.# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .#.##..##.
#.###.#### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###.#.#.#.
##..##.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..########
.#.#.#...# .#........
######..## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##........
.....#.#.# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .#.......#
....#####. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ##......##
...#....## THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .#.....#.#
..##...#.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ##....####
.#.#..##.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .#...#...#
####.#.#.# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##..##..##
...####### .#.#.#.#..
..#....... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ########..
.##....... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .......#..
#.#......# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ......##..
###.....## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....#.#.#
..#....#.. OPERATION. ....#####.
.##...##.. ...#....#.
#.#..#.#.# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..##...##.
###.###### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .#.#..#.##
..##...... ####.###..
.#.#...... »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ...##..#..
####...... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ..#.#.##..
...#.....# .#####.#.#
..##....#. »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #....#####
.#.#...##. »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» #...#....#
####..#.## »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #..##...##
...#.###.. »»# AND AT EASE #»» #.#.#..#..
..###..#.# #####.##..
.#..#.###. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ....##.#..
##.###..## »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ...#.###..
.##..#.#.# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ..###..#.#
#.#.###### .#..#.####
####.....# »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ##.###....
...#....#. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» .##..#...#
..##...##. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» #.#.##..##
.#.#..#.## »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ####.#.#.#
####.###.# »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ...#######
...##..##. ..#.......
..#.#.#.## »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .##.......
...». . »». . ». .»
. .. . . . .. .
. . ^ .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.