RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨&¨¨¨¨&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨¨&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&&¨&&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&¨&¨&&&¨
¨&¨¨&&¨&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨&&&&¨¨&
&&&¨&¨&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨&&&&¨&¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨
&&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&&&¨&&&&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨&&&&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&¨&¨&¨¨&
&&¨&&¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&&&&&¨&
¨¨&&¨&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&¨&¨&&&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&¨¨¨&&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
¨&&&¨&&&&¨ ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&&¨&&&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&&&&&&¨& &¨&&&¨&¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&&¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&& ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨&&¨&&&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &&¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&&&&¨&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨&&¨&¨¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &&&¨&&&¨¨&
&&&&&¨¨&¨& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&& ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&&¨&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨&&&¨¨¨&&
¨&&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&&&&¨& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&¨&¨&&¨&&
&&&¨&¨¨¨&& &¨&&&&¨&&¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&&¨¨¨&&¨&
~~~«~ ~ ««~ ~ «~ ~«
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.