RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨§§¨§§§¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨§§¨§¨§§ ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨¨§§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨ ¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§ §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ §¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ §¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨§¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ §¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ §§¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ ¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.