LIFE                
                                    
                                    
                                          
    A MULTITUDE OF DEFINITIONS      
       DOES    NOT   HELP.   WE       
      CAN     SAY     "LIFE     IS      
       WHAT    WE    ARE,   AND       
       WHAT  THINGS  LIKE  US       
       ARE",    BUT   THEN   WE       
     MUST    ALSO    DEFINE    WHAT     
     "THINGS  LIKE  US"  ACTUALLY     
       ENTAILS,  HOW  IT  SHOULD    
      BE   MEASURED,   WHO   OR       
     WHAT     IS    THE    ARBITER,     
     AND   SO   INSTEAD   THERE       
          IS   THIS    INTERNATIONALLY 
 SANCTIONED     LIST                   
         OF  CRITERIA           
                                          
 - LIFE MUST PRODUCE OR CONSUME MILK      
 - LIFE MUST HAVE A BEGINNING AND AN END  
 - LIFE CAN HAVE DREAMS AND CAN INTERACT  
 - LIFE CAN STEAL                         
 - LIFE CAN BE CURSED