RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨##¨¨#¨#¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨##¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# OPERATION. ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.