RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨&&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& &¨&&¨¨&&&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨&¨&¨¨&&
&&&&&¨&&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&&&&&¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨&¨¨&&&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&&&¨&&
&&¨&&¨&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&¨¨&&¨&
¨&&¨&&¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&&¨&¨¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&&&&¨&¨
&&¨&&&¨&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ OPERATION. &&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ¨&&&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨¨&&&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&&& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &¨&&¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &&¨&&&¨&&¨
¨¨&&&¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&&¨&¨
¨&¨¨&&&&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&¨&¨&&&¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&&&¨¨&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨&&¨¨¨&&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨&&¨&&&&&
¨&&&¨&&&&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&¨&&¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨&&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨&¨&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &¨&&&&&¨&&
¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&¨¨¨¨&&¨&
&&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&¨&&&
¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
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: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.