RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....&&..&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&&.&.&&&
...&.&.&.& .&.&&&&..&
..&&&&&&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&...&.&&
.&......&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..&..&&&.&
&&.....&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&.&..&&&
.&....&..& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &.&&&.&...
&&...&&.&& &&..&&&...
.&..&.&&.& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&.&..&..&
&&.&&&.&&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&.&&.&&
.&&..&&.&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...&&.&&..
&.&.&.&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&.&&.&..
&&&&&&...& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&&.&&&.&
.....&..&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &..&&..&&.
....&&.&.& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &.&.&.&.&.
...&.&&&&& &&&&&&&&&.
..&&&..... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ........&.
.&..&..... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .......&&.
&&.&&..... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ......&.&.
.&&.&..... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....&&&&&
&.&&&....& OPERATION. ....&....&
&&..&...&. ...&&...&.
.&.&&..&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&.&..&&&
&&&.&.&.&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&&&.&..&
..&&&&&&&& &...&&&.&.
.&........ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &..&..&&&.
&&........ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &.&&.&..&.
.&.......& &&.&&&.&&&
&&......&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .&&..&&..&
.&.....&.& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &.&.&.&.&.
&&....&&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&&&&&&&.
.&...&...& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ........&&
&&..&&..&. .......&.&
.&.&.&.&&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ......&&&.
&&&&&&&.&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .....&..&.
......&&.. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ....&&.&&&
.....&.&.. ...&.&&..&
....&&&&.. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&&&.&.&&
...&...&.& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .&..&&&&.&
..&&..&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&.&...&&&
.&.&.&.... ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .&&&..&..&
&&&&&&.... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &..&.&&.&&
.....&.... &.&&&.&&..
....&&.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&..&&.&..
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.