RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..#.....#. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .#...#....
...#.....# ..#...#...
....#..... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...#...#..
.....#.... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....#...#.
......#... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .....#...#
#......#.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ......#...
.#......#. .......#..
..#......# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ........#.
...#...... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #........#
#...#..... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .#........
.#...#.... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..#.......
..#...#... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...#......
...#...#.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....#.....
....#...#. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #....#....
.....#...# .#....#...
......#... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..#....#..
.......#.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...#....#.
........#. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....#....#
#........# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....#....
.#........ OPERATION. ......#...
..#....... .......#..
...#...... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ........#.
....#..... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .........#
#....#.... #.........
.#....#... »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ##........
..#....#.. »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ###.......
...#....#. #.##......
....#....# »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ..###.....
.....#.... »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ..#.##....
......#... »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ....###...
.......#.. »»# AND AT EASE #»» ....#.##..
........#. ......###.
.........# »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ......#.##
#......... »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» #.......##
##........ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» .#......#.
###....... ..#.......
#.##...... »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ...#......
..###..... »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» #...#.....
..#.##.... »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ##...#....
....###... »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ###...#...
....#.##.. »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» #.##...#..
......###. ..###...#.
......#.## »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ..#.##...#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.