RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. &¨&&¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& --# AND AT EASE #-- &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ---------------------------------------- &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
^^^-^ ^ --^ ^ -^ ^-
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.