RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ OPERATION. &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ &&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.