RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&,&,&&&&,& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &,&&&&&,,&
,&&&&,,,&& ,&&,,,,&,&
&&,,,&,,&, THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&,&,,,&&&
,,&,,&&,&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &,&&&,,&,,
,,&&,&,&&, ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&,,&,&&,
,,&,&&&&,& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ,,,&,&&&,&
&,&&&,,,&& ,,,&&&,,&&
,&&,,&,,&, MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ,,,&,,&,&,
,&,&,&&,&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &,,&&,&&&&
&&&&&&,&&, IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&,&,&&,,,
&,,,,,&&,& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ,,&&&&,&,,
&&,,,,&,&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &,&,,,&&&,
&,&,,,&&&, DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&,,&,,&
,&&&,,&,,& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ,,,,&,&&,&
&&,,&,&&,& &,,,&&&,&&
,,&,&&&,&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&,,&,,&&,
,,&&&,,&&, CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &,&,&&,&,&
&,&,,&,&,& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ,&&&&,&&&&
,&&&,&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&,,,&&,,,
,&,,&&,,,, OPERATION. &,&,,&,&,,
,&&,&,&,,, &&&&,&&&&,
,&,&&&&&,, SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &,,,&&,,,&
&&&&,,,,&, NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ,&,,&,&,,&
,,,,&,,,&& ,&&,&&&&,&
&,,,&&,,&, ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&,&&,,,&&
,&,,&,&,&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ,,&&,&,,&,
,&&,&&&&&, &,&,&&&,&&
&&,&&,,,,& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&&&&,,&&,
&,&&,&,,,& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &,,,,&,&,&
,&&,&&&,,& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ,&,,,&&&&&
&&,&&,,&,& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&,,&,,,,
&,&&,&,&&& &,,&,&&,,,
&&&,&&&&,, ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&,&&&,&,,
&,,&&,,,&, ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ,,&&,,&&&,
&&,&,&,,&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &,&,&,&,,&
,,&&&&&,&, ,&&&&&&&,&
&,&,,,,&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&,,,,,,&&
,&&&,,,&,, ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &,&,,,,,&,
,&,,&,,&&, ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ,&&&,,,,&&
&&&,&&,&,& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&,,&,,,&,
&,,&&,&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ,,&,&&,,&&
,&,&,&&,,, &,&&&,&,&,
,&&&&&,&,, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ,&&,,&&&&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.