RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&..&.&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ....&&.&.&
.&&.&&&&.. ...&.&&&&&
&.&&...&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&&&....&
&&.&..&&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&..&...&.
.&&&.&.&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&.&&..&&&
&..&&&&.&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&.&.&..&
&.&...&&&. &.&&&&&.&.
&&&..&..&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&....&&&&
..&.&&.&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&...&....
.&&&.&&... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&..&&....
&..&&.&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&.&.&....
&.&.&&&..& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&&...&
&&&&..&.&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .....&..&.
...&.&&&.& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....&&.&&&
..&&&..&&. ...&.&&..&
.&..&.&.&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&&&.&.&&
&&.&&&&&.& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&..&&&&.&
.&&....&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&.&...&&.
&.&...&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&&..&.&.
&&&..&&..& OPERATION. &..&.&&&&&
..&.&.&.&. &.&&&.....
.&&&&&&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&..&.....
&......... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&.&&.....
&........& &&&.&....&
&.......&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ..&&&...&.
&......&&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .&..&..&&&
&.....&.&. &&.&&.&...
&....&&&&. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .&&.&&&..&
&...&...&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &.&&..&.&.
&..&&..&.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&.&.&&&&&
&.&.&.&&.& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .&&&&.....
&&&&&&.&&& &...&....&
.....&&... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &..&&...&.
....&.&... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &.&.&..&&.
...&&&&..& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&&&.&.&.
..&...&.&. ....&&&&&.
.&&..&&&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ...&....&.
&.&.&..... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..&&...&&.
&&&&&....& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .&.&..&.&&
....&...&. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&&.&&&..
...&&..&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...&&..&..
..&.&.&..& ..&.&.&&..
.&&&&&&.&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&&&&&.&..
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.