RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&.....&. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ........&.
....&&&... .&&&&&&...
&&&..&..&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&&&&..&&
&&........ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...&&....&
&..&&&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&....&&..
....&&&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...&&.....
&&&..&&&&& &&....&&&&
&&....&&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ...&&..&&&
&..&&..&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&......&&
.......... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...&&&&..&
.&&&&&&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&..&&....
..&&&&&&&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &......&&&
...&&&&&.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&&&..&.
&&..&&&..& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...&&.....
.....&.... &&....&&&.
&&&&...&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...&&..&..
.&&..&.... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&........
.......&&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...&&&&&&&
.&&&&&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&..&&&&&.
..&&&..&&& OPERATION. &....&&&..
&..&....&& ..&&..&..&
.....&&..& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &.........
&&&&...... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..&&&&&&&&
&&&..&&&&. ...&&&&&&&
&&....&&.. »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&..&&&&&&
&..&&....& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &....&&&&&
......&&.. ..&&..&&&&
.&&&&....& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» .......&&.
..&&..&&.. »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&&&&&....
&........& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» .&&&&..&&&
..&&&&&&.. »»# AND AT EASE #»» ..&&....&&
...&&&&... .....&&...
&&..&&..&& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &&&&....&&
&......... »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&&..&&..&
..&&&&&&&& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &&........
&..&&&&&&. &..&&&&&&&
....&&&&.. »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ....&&&&&&
.&&..&&..& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &&&..&&&&.
.......... »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &&....&&..
&&&&&&&&&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ...&&....&
&&&&&&&&&& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&....&&..
.&&&&&&&&& &..&&.....
..&&&&&&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ......&&&&
,,,», , »», , », ,»
, ,, , , . ,. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.