RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨&&&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&&&¨¨&¨&
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨& &¨¨&&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
...«. . ««. . «. .«
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.