RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¤¨¤¨¤¨¨¤¤ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨
¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¤¨¤ ¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¨¨¤
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¨¤¤
¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¤ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¤¨¨¨¤¤¨¤
¨¨¤¨¤¨¨¨¤¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¤¤¨¨¤¨¤¤¤
¨¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¤ ¤¨¤¨¤¤¤¨¨¤
¤¨¨¨¤¨¤¨¨¤ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¤¤
¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¨¤¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¤¨¨
¤¨¤¨¨¨¤¤¤¤ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¤
¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¤¨¨¤¨¤¤¤¨
¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¤ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¤¤¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¤
¨¤¤¤¨¤¨¨¤¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¤¤¨¨¤¨¤¨¤
¤¨¨¤¤¤¨¤¤¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¤¨¤¨¤¤¤¤¤¤
¤¨¤¨¨¤¤¨¤¤ ¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨
¤¤¤¨¤¨¤¤¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤
¨¨¤¤¤¤¨¤¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¤¨
¨¤¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¤ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¤¨¤¨¨¨¤¤¨
¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¤¨
¨¤¨¤¤¨¤¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¤¤¤
¤¤¤¨¤¤¤¨¨¤ ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¤
¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¨¤¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¤¨
¨¤¨¤¨¤¤¤¤¤ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¤¤¨¤¤¨¨¤¤¨
¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¤ ¨¤¤¨¤¨¤¨¤¨
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¤¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¤¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¤¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤
¨¨¤¨¤¨¤¨¤¨ ¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤
¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¤¤¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨
¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¤¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¤
¤¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤ ¤¤¨¤¨¤¨¨¤¨
¤¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¤¤¤
¤¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¤¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¤¨¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¨
¤¨¤¨¤¨¨¤¤¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¤¨¨¨¤¨¤¨¨¤
¤¤¤¤¤¨¤¨¤¨ ¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¨¤¨
¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¤¨¤¨¨¨¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¤
¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¤¤
¨¤¨¤¨¨¤¨¤¤ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¤¤¤¨¤¨¤¨¤
¤¤¤¤¨¤¤¤¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¨¤ ¤¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¤¨¤¨¤¤¤¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.