RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
§§§§§§¨¨§§ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §¨¨§§¨§¨¨§
§§§§§§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
¨§§§§§¨§¨§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§§§§¨§¨§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨¨§§§¨§¨§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ OPERATION. §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨§§¨§¨§ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
§¨§¨¨§¨§¨§ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §¨§¨§¨§¨§¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.