RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&&&&¨&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ &&¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
¨&&¨¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&&¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&¨&&&&&¨
&&&&¨¨&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&&&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&&&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&&¨&¨&&&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨&¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨¨&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&¨¨&&
&¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨¨&&&&¨&
&&&&¨¨&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨&& OPERATION. &¨&&¨¨&¨&&
¨¨&&&¨&&¨¨ &&¨&¨&&&¨&
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&¨&¨&&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨&¨¨ &¨¨&&&&¨&¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
&¨¨&&&¨&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨&¨¨&&&&& ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&&&¨&&&¨&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&&¨¨¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&&&&&&&¨
¨&&¨&¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&¨&&&¨¨&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&¨&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨&¨&&&&&¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&¨ ¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&¨&&&&¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&&&&&¨&¨&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&¨&&¨&¨&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&&¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& &¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨&¨¨&&¨¨
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ ^ ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.