RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨§¨§¨§¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨§¨¨§§¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ §¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨§¨¨¨¨§§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
§¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§§§¨¨§¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨§§¨¨§¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§§§¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨§§ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§ ¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE §¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨ OPERATION. ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨ ¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== §¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨ ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== §¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨ ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== §¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== §§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨ ¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== §¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== §§¨¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§ ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨ ======================================== ¨§§§¨¨¨§¨§
---=- - ==- - =- -=
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.