dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits   me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all  over my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind. it's  like 
 language,  sentences  i can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is  my nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time  does - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are  still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick on the  nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do with  a cat 
 who  comes to close  to your sandwich...