dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed  in my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my nature. turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if  you wander too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine  a prick on  the nose, that's 
 what these are. like  you do with a  cat 
 who comes to  close  to your sandwich...