FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH  (THE PLANET  WHERE I LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE ANTENNAS  ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,  WE   HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE  VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR LOCAL  CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND  THE GALAXY. AND WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM  THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE  NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO SMOKE  MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING