FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH  (THE  PLANET  WHERE  I LIVE) A 
 LOT  OF  US HAVE ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE   HAVE  BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH  A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR  POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT   IN  THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL  CLUSTERS PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY AT  VELOCITY  AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS  MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE  GALAXY. AND WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE        HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE UNIVERSE  SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM  THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES  THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND  IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA GO  SMOKE  MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH SOME BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING