THE   GOLDEN          
              M               
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                NUGGETS                 
           DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER          
                  FRIES                 
            CARBONATED WATER            
          BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE           
                 BIG MAC                
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL BEGAN  A  THOUSAND YEARS AGO  IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE  EMERGED  FROM  A TAVERN AFTER  A 
 FEW  YEARS APPRENTICESHIP, WITH AN IDEA. 
 IT  WAS ILLEGAL  TO  SELL  FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
        BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.         
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO  BREAD SLICES, OPERATING OUT 
 OF  A  CART,  NOT  STAYING  IN  THE SAME 
 PLACE LONG.  IN THE DAY  SHE  SLEPT,  IN 
 THE EVE SHE SOLD HER WARES,  AND  IN THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER A FEW YEARS, MARIGOLDS  FOOD  CART 
 HAD   A  REPUTATION.   SHE   CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND  PEOPLE TALKED  ABOUT  THE GOLDEN M. 
 THE OLD  TAVERN HAD THEIR  MONOPOLY  AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER, SHE  BECAME A LITTLE  TOO  WELL 
 KNOWN.  THE  TAVERNS  MEN  HOT   ON  HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE  COULD  STAY A  SHORTER  AND 
 SHORTER TIME IN EACH  LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED.  AND  SOON  ENOUGH  THERE CAME A 
 TIME WHEN THEY STARTED WATCHING  FOR HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO  SHE HID  THE CART, AND  DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER   THIRTY   YEARS,   A   MAN  NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND  THE  CART.  HE  WAS   A 
     CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE    
 (CURSED, I  MEAN))  AND  AS  SUCH HE  OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT A  GOOD IDEA TO FOLLOW 
          IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.         
                                          
 HE WASN'T  ALL THAT OF A COOK,  AND EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED  THE GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY FELL  INTO INFAMITY.  HOWEVER HE 
 WAS  KIND  OF  A HARDHAT AND DIDN'T STOP 
 TRYING.  THE TAVERN  DIDN'T CARE FOR HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND   ALSO   THEY  HAD   EXPANDED   TOO 
   QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND  
 WAS IN  THE  PROCESS  OF FALLING APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY  AT EVERYONE FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS    FOOD,    HE   VOWED   TO    LEAVE 
         KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.          
                                          
               WHICH HE DID.              
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW  HE TRAVELED 
 OR  WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED UP ON 
           EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.          
 UPON  FINDING  OUT THAT  EARTH  HOLDS NO 
 EDIBLE LIZARDS, HE  SETTLED FOR COW MEAT 
 INSTEAD, AND TO HIS JOY, THE EARTH  FOLK 
                 LIKED IT!                
                                          
 THEN HE GOT SCAMMED  OUT OF THE CART  BY 
 A  MAN  NAMED MICKEY  MAC  DONALDS,  WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
 WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY  
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE PROJECT, AND  QUICKLY  EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!