THE   GOLDEN         
              M               
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                 NUGGETS                
          DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER           
                  FRIES                 
            CARBONATED WATER            
           BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE          
                BIG MAC                 
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL BEGAN  A  THOUSAND YEARS  AGO IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE EMERGED FROM  A  TAVERN  AFTER  A 
 FEW YEARS APPRENTICESHIP, WITH  AN IDEA. 
 IT  WAS  ILLEGAL TO  SELL  FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
         BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.        
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO BREAD SLICES, OPERATING  OUT 
 OF  A  CART,  NOT STAYING  IN  THE  SAME 
 PLACE  LONG. IN  THE  DAY SHE  SLEPT, IN 
 THE EVE  SHE SOLD HER WARES, AND IN  THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER A  FEW YEARS,  MARIGOLDS FOOD CART 
 HAD   A  REPUTATION.   SHE   CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND  PEOPLE  TALKED ABOUT THE GOLDEN  M. 
 THE  OLD TAVERN HAD THEIR  MONOPOLY  AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER, SHE BECAME A  LITTLE  TOO  WELL 
 KNOWN.  THE  TAVERNS   MEN  HOT  ON  HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE  COULD  STAY  A  SHORTER AND 
 SHORTER TIME IN  EACH LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED. AND  SOON  ENOUGH  THERE CAME  A 
 TIME WHEN THEY STARTED WATCHING FOR  HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO SHE  HID  THE CART,  AND DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER  THIRTY   YEARS,   A   MAN   NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND  THE   CART.  HE  WAS  A 
    CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE     
 (CURSED, I  MEAN))  AND  AS  SUCH HE  OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA  TO FOLLOW 
         IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.          
                                          
 HE WASN'T ALL THAT OF  A COOK,  AND EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED  THE GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY FELL INTO  INFAMITY.  HOWEVER HE 
 WAS  KIND  OF A HARDHAT AND  DIDN'T STOP 
 TRYING.  THE TAVERN DIDN'T  CARE FOR HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND   ALSO   THEY  HAD   EXPANDED   TOO 
   QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND  
 WAS IN THE  PROCESS  OF FALLING  APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY AT  EVERYONE FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS   FOOD,    HE    VOWED   TO    LEAVE 
         KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.          
                                          
               WHICH HE DID.              
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW  HE TRAVELED 
 OR WHERE, BUT  EVENTUALLY HE ENDED UP ON 
          EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.           
 UPON FINDING  OUT  THAT  EARTH HOLDS  NO 
 EDIBLE  LIZARDS, HE SETTLED FOR COW MEAT 
 INSTEAD, AND  TO HIS JOY, THE EARTH FOLK 
                LIKED IT!                 
                                          
 THEN HE  GOT SCAMMED OUT OF  THE CART BY 
 A  MAN  NAMED  MICKEY  MAC  DONALDS, WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
 WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY  
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE  PROJECT,  AND QUICKLY EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!