EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS    THINKING   TO    STOP   DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN THE WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO NOT  KNOW HOW  USEFUL THEY  HAVE BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE  WHEN I  TAKE 
 THEM,  THE  LAST FEW TIMES AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE  ARE PLENTY OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY  DO NOT LIKE,  AND THERE  WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS   WITH   RANDOM  THINGS  THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR A 
 LONG  TIME  I  COULD NOT  SEE A  CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT  GETTING ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I SHOULD AVOID TO  RUIN  ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED OR  AT  LEAST THE BURN-INS  IN 
 THE   EYES,  AND  SOMETIMES   STUFF   IS 
 BREATHING  NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO   IT 
 BEFORE. BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK  TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE I'M SCARED AND MAKING  ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES  TO  ME  SOMETIMES THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT  A LOAD OF  CONCEPTS THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND HOW  VAGUE  THEY  ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF I  DO  NOT  SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL NO LONGER  BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE  MY  EYES,   NOT   ACTUALLY  CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST  FIELDS AND MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN  I HEAR THIS SOUND (A  REAL 
     SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME    
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND IT IS  ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT, I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL,  BUT I THINK IT  HAS TO DO 
         WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.