EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS   THINKING   TO    STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN THE  WINTER  BECAUSE I 
 DO  NOT KNOW HOW  USEFUL THEY  HAVE BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I GET  SO  TENSE  WHEN  I  TAKE 
 THEM,  THE  LAST FEW TIMES AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE  ARE PLENTY OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY DO NOT  LIKE, AND THERE  WILL  BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH  RANDOM   THINGS  THAT   I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR EXAMPLE,  FOR  A 
 LONG  TIME I  COULD  NOT  SEE  A CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I  SHOULD  AVOID TO RUIN ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED  OR AT LEAST  THE  BURN-INS IN 
 THE   EYES,  AND   SOMETIMES   STUFF  IS 
 BREATHING  NOW,   THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE.  BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE.  MAYBE I'M SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT COMES  TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A  LOAD  OF CONCEPTS THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT  SLEEP FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL NO  LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE  MY   EYES,  NOT  ACTUALLY   CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER JUST  FIELDS AND  MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN I HEAR THIS SOUND  (A  REAL 
    SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME     
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT, I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL,  BUT I THINK IT HAS  TO DO 
        WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.