EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS   THINKING   TO    STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS IN  THE WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO  NOT  KNOW HOW USEFUL THEY HAVE  BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET SO  TENSE  WHEN  I  TAKE 
 THEM, THE LAST  FEW TIMES  AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIDE  EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY  DO NOT LIKE,  AND THERE WILL  BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH   RANDOM   THINGS  THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR  A 
 LONG TIME  I COULD  NOT  SEE  A  CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF WITHOUT  GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I SHOULD AVOID TO RUIN  ALL  THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED  OR  AT LEAST THE BURN-INS  IN 
 THE  EYES,   AND   SOMETIMES   STUFF  IS 
 BREATHING  NOW,   THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE. BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK  TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE  I'M SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT COMES  TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A LOAD  OF CONCEPTS  THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO NOT  SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN  I 
 CLOSE   MY   EYES,  NOT  ACTUALLY  CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST FIELDS AND  MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN  I  HEAR THIS SOUND (A REAL 
     SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME    
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT, I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL,  BUT I THINK IT HAS  TO DO 
         WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.