EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS    THINKING   TO    STOP   DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN THE WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO NOT KNOW  HOW USEFUL  THEY HAVE  BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET SO  TENSE  WHEN  I  TAKE 
 THEM,  THE LAST FEW  TIMES AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIDE  EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY DO  NOT LIKE,  AND THERE  WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH  RANDOM   THINGS   THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE, FOR  A 
 LONG  TIME  I COULD NOT  SEE  A  CERTAIN 
 KIND OF  LEAF  WITHOUT  GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ...  AND I SHOULD  AVOID TO RUIN ALL THE 
             SEASONS THIS WAY.            
                                          
                                         
                                          
     HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA    
 INCREASED  OR  AT  LEAST THE BURN-INS IN 
 THE  EYES,   AND  SOMETIMES   STUFF   IS 
 BREATHING   NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE.  BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE  I'M SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT COMES  TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT  A LOAD OF CONCEPTS  THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND HOW  VAGUE  THEY  ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT  WILL NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE  MY  EYES,   NOT  ACTUALLY   CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER JUST FIELDS  AND  MOTION. 
 NOW  AND  THEN I HEAR THIS SOUND (A REAL 
    SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME     
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT  IS ALWAYS UNPLEASANT,  I BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL, BUT  I THINK IT  HAS TO DO 
        WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.