RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&.&..&&&& ---------------------------------------- &&.&&&.&&&
&&&&&.&... &.&&..&&..
&....&&&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&&.&.&.&.
&&...&..&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&.&&&&&&&
..&..&&.&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..&&......
..&&.&.&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &.&.&.....
..&.&&&&.& &&&&&&....
..&&&...&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.....&...
..&..&..&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&....&&..
..&&.&&.&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&&...&.&.
..&.&&.&&. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&.&..&&&&
&.&&&.&&.& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&.&...
&&&..&&.&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .....&&&..
&..&.&.&&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &....&..&.
&&.&&&&&.& .&...&&.&&
..&&....&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&..&.&&.
..&.&...&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...&.&&&.&
&.&&&&..&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &..&&&..&&
.&&...&.&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&.&..&.&.
.&.&..&&&& OPERATION. &.&&&.&&&&
&&&&&.&... &&&..&&...
&....&&&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &..&.&.&..
&&...&..&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&.&&&&&&.
&.&..&&.&& &.&&.....&
.&&&.&.&&. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- .&&.&....&
&&..&&&&.& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .&.&&&...&
..&.&...&& .&&&..&..&
&.&&&&..&. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- .&..&.&&.&
.&&...&.&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- .&&.&&&.&&
&&.&..&&&. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&.&&..&&.
&.&&&.&..& --# AND AT EASE #-- &.&&.&.&.&
.&&..&&&.& &&&.&&&&&&
&&.&.&..&& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &..&&.....
&.&&&&&.&. --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- .&.&.&....
&&&....&&& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&&&&&&...
&..&...&.. &......&..
&&.&&..&&. --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- .&.....&&.
&.&&.&.&.& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- .&&....&.&
.&&.&&&&&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- .&.&...&&&
&&.&&..... --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- .&&&&..&..
&.&&.&.... --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&...&.&&.
&&&.&&&... &.&..&&&.&
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,,,-, , --, , -, ,-
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.