EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS   THINKING    TO   STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN THE WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO  NOT KNOW  HOW USEFUL  THEY HAVE BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE WHEN  I  TAKE 
 THEM, THE LAST FEW TIMES AT  LEAST,  AND 
 THERE ARE  PLENTY OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY DO NOT  LIKE, AND THERE  WILL  BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS   WITH  RANDOM  THINGS  THAT   I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR EXAMPLE,  FOR  A 
 LONG  TIME  I  COULD  NOT  SEE A CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ...  AND I SHOULD  AVOID TO RUIN ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
     HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA    
 INCREASED  OR AT  LEAST  THE BURN-INS IN 
 THE  EYES,   AND  SOMETIMES   STUFF   IS 
 BREATHING   NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE. BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO  MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE I'M  SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A  LOAD OF CONCEPTS  THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND  HOW VAGUE  THEY  ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT  SLEEP  FOR ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT  WILL NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE   MY  EYES,  NOT  ACTUALLY   CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER JUST  FIELDS  AND MOTION. 
 NOW AND  THEN I HEAR THIS  SOUND (A REAL 
    SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME     
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT,  I BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL, BUT I THINK  IT HAS  TO DO 
         WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.