RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ......#..#
..######## #####.....
#..######. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ####..####
....####.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ###....###
.##..##..# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##..##..#.
.......... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..........
#########. ##########
########.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##########
#######..# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ##########
######.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .#########
#####..##. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..########
####...... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #..#######
###..##### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....######
##....#### COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###..#####
#..##..### ##....####
........## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...##..###
.######..# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ##......#.
..####.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...####...
#..##..### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##..##..##
........## OPERATION. #........#
.######..# ..######..
..####.... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...####..#
...##..##. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##..##....
##........ .......###
#..####### ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ######..##
....###### ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ #####....#
.##..##### ####..##..
......#### ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .##......#
.####..### ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ....####..
..##....## ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ###..##..#
.....##..# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ##........
####...... ...#######
###..####. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ##..######
##....##.. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .....#####
#..##..... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ####..####
......#### ###....###
.####..##. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ##..##..#.
..##...... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..........
#....####. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##########
..##..##.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##########
.........# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #########.
########.. .#######..
.######... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#####...
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.