RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.###..##.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .#...#.#..
.#.##.###. ..#.....#.
...##.#.## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...#.....#
#..##...## THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #...#.....
.#.###..#. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##...#....
...#.##... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .##...#...
.....###.. .###...#..
.....#.##. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .#.##...#.
.......### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...###...#
#......#.# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...#.##...
.#.......# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #....###..
..#......# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .#...#.##.
...#...... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#....###
#...#..... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...#...#.#
##...#.... #...#....#
.##...#... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ##...#...#
.###...#.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .##...#...
.#.##...#. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .###...#..
...###...# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#.##...#.
...#.##... OPERATION. ...###...#
#....###.. #..#.##...
.#...#.##. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ##...###..
..#....### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ###..#.##.
...#...#.# #.##...###
#...#....# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ..###..#.#
##...#...# »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ..#.##...#
.##...#... ....###..#
.###...#.. »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ....#.##..
.#.##...#. »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ......###.
...###...# »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ......#.##
#..#.##... »»# AND AT EASE #»» ........##
##...###.. #.......#.
###..#.##. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» .#........
#.##...### »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ..#.......
..###..#.# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ...#......
..#.##...# ....#.....
....###..# »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» #....#....
....#.##.. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» .#....#...
......###. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ..#....#..
......#.## »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» #..#....#.
........## »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» .#..#....#
#.......#. ..#..#....
.#........ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» #..#..#...
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.