RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&¨¨¨&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&¨¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨¨&&¨
¨&&&&&&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&& ¨¨&¨&&¨&&&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&&&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨¨&&¨&¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&¨&¨&&&
&¨&&&&¨&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨&&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨&¨&&¨&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&&&¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨&&&&&&
&&¨¨&&¨&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&& OPERATION. ¨&¨¨&¨&&&¨
&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨&&¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨&¨&&&
¨¨&¨&&¨&&& &&&¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&&¨¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨&¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &&¨&¨&¨¨&&
&¨&&¨&¨&&& &¨&&&&&¨&¨
&&&¨&&&&¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&¨&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨&¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨&&& ¨&&¨&&&&&&
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&&¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨¨&¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨¨&& ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&&¨¨&¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨&&¨&&&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&&¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨&&&¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&&¨¨&&&&&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨&&&¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &&¨&&&&¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.