RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&.&&&&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&&...&.&
&&.&&...&. ..&.&..&&&
..&&.&..&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &.&&&&.&..
..&.&&&.&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&...&&&.
..&&&..&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&.&..&..&
&.&..&.&.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&.&&.&
.&&&.&&&&. &....&&.&&
&&..&&...& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&...&.&&.
&.&.&.&..& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&..&&&.&
.&&&&&&&.& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...&.&..&&
&&......&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &..&&&&.&.
&.&.....&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&.&...&&&
.&&&....&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&..&..
.&..&...&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &....&.&&.
.&&.&&..&& &&...&&&.&
&&.&&.&.&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&..&..&&
..&&.&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &.&&.&&.&.
..&.&&.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&.&&.&&&
&.&&&.&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ...&&.&&..
&&&..&&&.. OPERATION. &..&.&&.&.
&..&.&..&. .&.&&&.&&&
.&.&&&&.&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&&&..&&..
.&&&...&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&..&.&.&.
.&..&..&.& &.&.&&&&&&
&&&.&&.&&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&&&&.....
&..&&.&&.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....&....
&&.&.&&.&. &....&&...
&.&&&&.&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&...&.&..
&&&...&&.. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..&..&&&&.
&..&..&.&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &.&&.&...&
.&.&&.&&&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .&&.&&&..&
&&&&.&&... .&.&&..&.&
....&&.&.. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&&&.&.&&&
&...&.&&&. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &...&&&&..
&&..&&&..& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .&..&...&.
&.&.&..&.& &&&.&&..&&
.&&&&&.&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &..&&.&.&.
.&....&&.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .&.&.&&&&&
&&&...&.&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&&&&....
&..&..&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ......&...
&&.&&.&... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &.....&&..
&.&&.&&&.. .&....&.&.
&&&.&&..&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&&...&&&&
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.