RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@¨@@@@@¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« @¨@@¨@¨@¨¨
@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ @@¨@@@@@¨@
¨@¨¨¨@@¨¨@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨@@¨¨¨¨@@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @¨@¨¨¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@@@@¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @@@¨¨@@@@@
@@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@¨¨¨@@¨¨ ¨@@@@¨¨¨@¨
¨@@¨¨@¨@¨@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @¨¨¨@¨¨@@¨
@¨@¨@@@@@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@@@¨¨¨¨@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @¨@¨@@@@@@
¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨@¨@¨@¨@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@@@@@@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨ @@@@¨¨¨¨¨@
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨@@
¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨@@¨¨¨@¨@
¨¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨@¨@¨¨@@@@
¨¨¨¨@¨@¨@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@@@¨@¨¨¨@
¨¨¨@@@@@¨@ OPERATION. ¨¨¨@@@¨¨@@
¨¨@¨¨¨¨@@¨ ¨¨@¨¨@¨@¨@
¨@@¨¨¨@¨@@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@@¨@@@@@@
@¨@¨¨@@@¨@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@
@@@¨@¨¨@@¨ @@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨@@@¨@¨@@ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨@@@¨¨¨@@@
¨@¨¨@@@@¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« @¨¨@¨¨@¨¨@
@@¨@¨¨¨@¨@ @¨@@¨@@¨@@
¨@@@¨¨@@@@ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« @@¨@@¨@@¨¨
@¨¨@¨@¨¨¨@ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ¨@@¨@@¨@¨¨
@¨@@@@¨¨@¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« @¨@@¨@@@¨@
@@¨¨¨@¨@@¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« @@¨@@¨¨@@¨
¨@¨¨@@@¨@¨ ¨@@¨@¨@¨@@
@@¨@¨¨@@@¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« @¨@@@@@@¨@
¨@@@¨@¨¨@@ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« @@¨¨¨¨¨@@¨
@¨¨@@@¨@¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@¨
@¨@¨¨@@@¨@ @@¨¨¨@@@@@
@@@¨@¨¨@@¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨@@@¨@¨@¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« @@¨@@¨¨¨¨@
¨@¨¨@@@@@¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨@@¨@¨¨¨@@
@@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« @¨@@@¨¨@¨@
¨@@@¨¨¨@@¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« @@¨¨@¨@@@¨
@¨¨@¨¨@¨@@ ¨@¨@@@¨¨@¨
@¨@@¨@@@¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« @@@¨¨@¨@@@
^^^«^ ^ ««^ ^ «^ ^«
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.