RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §§§¨¨¨§§¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨                                          ¨¨§¨¨§¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨§§§ THE COMPUTER  IS A  VERY COMMON TOOL  IN ¨§§¨§§§§¨§
§§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. §¨§§¨¨¨§§§
¨§¨¨¨§§¨¨§ ITS JOB IS  TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF  SMALL §§¨§¨¨§¨¨¨
§§¨¨§¨§¨§¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT  AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨§§§¨§§¨¨¨
¨§¨§§§§§§¨                                          §¨¨§§¨§¨¨§
§§§¨¨¨¨¨§§ MOST  WORK  ON  THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §¨§¨§§§¨§§
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨§ THE PROBLEM ON A  HILBERT  PLANE,  WHICH §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨§§¨¨¨§§§§ IS  THEN FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO ¨¨¨§¨§¨§¨¨
§¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ THAT  DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE   THE  PROBLEM ¨¨§§§§§§¨¨
§§§¨§§¨¨¨§   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    ¨§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
¨¨§§¨§¨¨§¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE §§¨¨¨¨§§§¨
¨§¨§§§¨§§§          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨§§¨¨¨                                          §§¨¨§§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨§¨§¨¨§   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨§¨§¨§§¨§§
¨§§§§§§¨§§ CLERKS  TO PRAY TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR §§§§§¨§§¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨§§¨§ COMPUTER, OR  TO THE DAEMONS  DOING  THE ¨¨¨¨§§¨§§§
§¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ WORK,  FOR  A   QUICK   AND  FAULT  FREE ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨
§¨¨¨§§§¨§¨                OPERATION.                ¨¨§§§¨§¨¨§
§¨¨§¨¨§§§¨                                          ¨§¨¨§§§¨§¨
§¨§§¨§¨¨§¨       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      §§¨§¨¨§§§§
§§¨§§§¨§§§    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨§§§¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨                                          §¨¨§§§¨¨¨§
§¨§¨§¨§¨¨§      ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~      §¨§¨¨§¨¨§§
§§§§§§§¨§¨        ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~        §§§¨§§¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨                                          ¨¨§§¨§§§¨§
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨     ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~     ¨§¨§§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨§§¨§§§    ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~    §§§¨§¨§¨¨§
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§     ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~     ¨¨§§§§§¨§§
¨¨§§§¨§¨§§           ~~# AND AT EASE #~~            ¨§¨¨¨¨§§¨§
¨§¨¨§§§§¨¨                                          §§¨¨¨§¨§§§
§§¨§¨¨¨§¨§     ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~     ¨§¨¨§§§¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨§§§¨     ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~     §§¨§¨¨§¨§¨
§¨¨§¨§¨¨§¨   ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~   ¨§§§¨§§§§¨
§¨§§§§¨§§¨                                          §¨¨§§¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨¨§§¨§§    ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~   §¨§¨§¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨§§¨§    ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~     §§§§§¨§§¨§
§§¨§§§¨§§¨     ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~    ¨¨¨¨§§¨§§§
¨§§¨¨§§¨§¨      ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~     ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨
§¨§¨§¨§§§¨       ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~        ¨¨§§§¨§¨¨¨
§§§§§§¨¨§¨                                          ¨§¨¨§§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §§¨§¨¨§¨§¨
           ^^^~^      ^   ~~^   ^           ~^   ^~           
           ^     ^^      ^     ^     ¨     ^¨     ¨           
           ¨            ¨                  *      ¨           
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           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO    BE     A    KIND    OF     PRAYER?           
           AS    IN,   YOU   MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,   AND    USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS   IN,  YOU'RE  USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.