RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#.#....### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..###.##..
###...#... .#..##.#.#
..#..##... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##.#.####.
.##.#.#..# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .####...#.
#.#####.## ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #...#..##.
##....##.# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #..##.#.##
.#...#.### #.#.####..
##..###..# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ####...#..
.#.#..#.#. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...#..##.#
####.##### IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..##.#.###
...##....# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .#.####...
..#.#...#. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ###...#...
.####..### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#..##...
#...#.#..# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .##.#.#...
#..####.## #.#####..#
#.#...##.# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ##....#.#.
###..#.##. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .#...#####
..#.###.#. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ##..#.....
.###..#### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#.##.....
#..#.#...# OPERATION. ###.#.....
#.####..#. ..###....#
##...#.##. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .#..#...#.
.#..###.## NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##.##..###
##.#..##.. .##.#.#..#
.###.#.#.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #.#####.#.
#..#####.# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##....###.
#.#....##. .#...#..##
###...#.## ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ##..##.#..
..#..###.. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .#.#.###.#
.##.#..#.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #####..###
#.###.##.. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ....#.#..#
##..##.#.# ...####.#.
.#.#.####. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..#...####
#####...#. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .##..#...#
....#..##. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #.#.##..#.
...##.#.## ####.#.##.
..#.####.# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ...####.#.
.###...##. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..#...###.
#..#..#.## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .##..#..#.
#.##.###.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #.#.##.###
##.##..#.. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ####.##...
.##.#.##.. ...##.#..#
#.####.#.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#.###.##
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~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.