RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨&¨&¨&&&¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨& &&¨&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&¨&¨&¨&&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&&&&&¨&
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&&&&¨&&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&& &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&&&¨&¨¨
¨&&&&&&¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&¨¨&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&&&&¨&&¨&
&¨¨¨&&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨¨¨&&¨&&¨
&¨¨&¨&&¨&& &¨¨&¨&&¨&&
&¨&&&¨&&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&&¨&&¨¨
&&¨¨&&¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&&&¨
&&&&&¨¨&&& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨&¨&&&¨&&
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨&&&¨¨&&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨¨&¨&¨&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨&¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&¨¨&¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨&¨&&&¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&& &&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨¨&&&¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨&&&&&&&¨&
&&&&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&&&¨&&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&&&&¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨¨&&&&¨¨¨
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: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.