dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my vision,  pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in  my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i  can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief,  such is  my nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen  if you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on the  nose, that's 
 what  these  are. like you do with a cat 
 who  comes to  close to your sandwich...