FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH (THE  PLANET  WHERE  I  LIVE) A 
 LOT  OF US  HAVE ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE  BUILT LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN  ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN  THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER OF  THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND  THE GALAXY. AND WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES OUT  IN FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE  SAY IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T   THAT   KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES  THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT  WE'RE DOING  (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO  SMOKE  MY THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND  TRY TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING