FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH (THE  PLANET  WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE  ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH  A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE  LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY  AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER OF  THE  GALAXY AT  VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS  MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE  GALAXY. AND  WE AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT  IN  FUCKING SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT  IS OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU  NEED 
 A  CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE  AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK  EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT  WE'RE  DOING (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO  SMOKE MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING