FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE  PLANET WHERE  I  LIVE) A 
 LOT OF US HAVE ANTENNAS  ON  OUR  HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE  BUILT  LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY  BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE  LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR  LOCAL  CLUSTERS  PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE  SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND  WE AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE ALL  THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES  OUT  IN FUCKING SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE  THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY  ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE  AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA  WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA GO  SMOKE  MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING