FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE  PLANET WHERE  I LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US  HAVE ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT),  WE'VE  BUILT LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN  ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT   IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE  GALAXY AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS  MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL  THIS, DESPITE ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT  IN FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE UNIVERSE  SAY IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE  STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE  AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA  WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO SMOKE  MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING