RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&¨&¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&&&&&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨¨&¨&¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨¨&&&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨& ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨¨&&¨&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&¨&¨&&
&¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&¨&&&&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
&&&&&¨&¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&¨&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨&&¨&& OPERATION. ¨&¨&&&&¨&¨
¨¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &&&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨&¨&&&&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨¨&&¨&&¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ &&&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨¨¨&&¨&& ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨¨&&&&¨&&
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== &¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&¨&&&¨& ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&&&¨¨&& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨&&&¨&¨&&&
&&&&¨¨&¨&¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== &&¨¨&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&&& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== &¨&&&&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ &&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&&&¨&&¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== &¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&¨&¨¨¨&&¨& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&¨&&¨&¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&¨&& ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨&&¨&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&&¨ &¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&&&¨¨& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &&&&&¨&¨&&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&&&¨&&& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
&¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&&& ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&&
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
---=- - ==- - =- -=
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.