dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for   a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to  piece   together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and  i   feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in  my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on  the nose, that's 
 what these are. like  you  do with a cat 
 who  comes  to close to your sandwich...