RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨& &¨¨&&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.