THE   GOLDEN          
              M               
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                 NUGGETS                
          DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER           
                  FRIES                 
            CARBONATED WATER            
          BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE           
                BIG MAC                 
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL  BEGAN A  THOUSAND YEARS  AGO IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE EMERGED  FROM A  TAVERN  AFTER  A 
 FEW YEARS APPRENTICESHIP,  WITH AN IDEA. 
 IT  WAS  ILLEGAL  TO  SELL FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
        BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.         
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO BREAD  SLICES, OPERATING OUT 
 OF  A  CART,  NOT  STAYING  IN  THE SAME 
 PLACE LONG.  IN THE  DAY  SHE  SLEPT, IN 
 THE  EVE SHE  SOLD HER WARES, AND IN THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER A  FEW YEARS, MARIGOLDS FOOD  CART 
 HAD   A   REPUTATION.   SHE  CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND PEOPLE TALKED  ABOUT THE  GOLDEN  M. 
 THE OLD  TAVERN  HAD  THEIR MONOPOLY AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER, SHE BECAME  A  LITTLE TOO  WELL 
 KNOWN.   THE  TAVERNS  MEN  HOT  ON  HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE  COULD  STAY  A SHORTER  AND 
 SHORTER TIME  IN EACH LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED.  AND SOON  ENOUGH  THERE  CAME A 
 TIME WHEN THEY STARTED WATCHING  FOR HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO  SHE  HID  THE CART, AND DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER  THIRTY   YEARS,   A   MAN   NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND   THE  CART.  HE  WAS  A 
     CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE    
 (CURSED,  I  MEAN))  AND AS  SUCH HE  OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA TO  FOLLOW 
         IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.          
                                          
 HE WASN'T  ALL  THAT OF A COOK, AND EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED THE  GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY FELL  INTO INFAMITY.  HOWEVER HE 
 WAS KIND  OF  A HARDHAT AND  DIDN'T STOP 
 TRYING.  THE TAVERN  DIDN'T CARE FOR HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND   ALSO   THEY   HAD   EXPANDED  TOO 
   QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND  
 WAS IN THE  PROCESS OF  FALLING  APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY AT EVERYONE  FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS   FOOD,    HE    VOWED   TO    LEAVE 
         KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.          
                                          
              WHICH HE DID.               
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT  KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW HE TRAVELED 
 OR  WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED UP ON 
          EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.           
 UPON  FINDING OUT  THAT EARTH  HOLDS  NO 
 EDIBLE LIZARDS, HE SETTLED FOR COW  MEAT 
 INSTEAD,  AND TO HIS JOY, THE EARTH FOLK 
                LIKED IT!                 
                                          
 THEN HE GOT SCAMMED OUT  OF  THE CART BY 
 A  MAN  NAMED MICKEY  MAC  DONALDS,  WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
 WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY  
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE  PROJECT, AND QUICKLY  EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!