RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&¨&¨&&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨¨&& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ OPERATION. &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
...«. . ««. . «. .«
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.