RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&& ¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&¨&&¨&&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&¨&&¨&&&
¨&&¨&&¨&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨&&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨&¨&&¨&¨
¨&&&¨&&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&&&¨&&&
&&¨¨&&¨&&& ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&&&&&&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&&&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&¨¨&&&¨¨
&¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨&&¨&¨¨&¨
&&&&¨¨¨&¨& &&&¨&&&¨&&
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨¨¨&¨&&&¨ ¨¨¨&&&&&&&
¨&¨¨&&&¨¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&&¨&&& &&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨&&&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&&¨&&&&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨&¨¨¨&&¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&&&¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨& &&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
&&¨¨&&&¨&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨&&¨¨&&¨&
&¨&&&&¨&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨&&&&&&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
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¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.