RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&..&...&&& ---------------------------------------- &..&.&&...
.&..&..&.& .&...&&&..
..&..&...& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&..&.&&.
...&..&..& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &..&...&&&
&...&..&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&..&..&.&
&&...&..&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&..&...&
.&&...&..& &..&..&..&
.&&&...&.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&..&..&..
.&.&&...&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&..&..&.
...&&&...& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&&..&..&
&..&.&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&&..&..
.&...&&&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&.&&..&.
..&..&.&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....&&&..&
&..&...&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....&.&&..
.&..&..&.& ......&&&.
..&..&...& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &.....&.&&
&..&..&..& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&......&&
&&..&..&.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&.....&.
&&&..&..&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &.&&......
&.&&..&..& OPERATION. ..&&&.....
..&&&..&.. ..&.&&....
..&.&&..&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ....&&&...
....&&&..& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ....&.&&..
....&.&&.. ......&&&.
......&&&. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ......&.&&
&.....&.&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &.......&&
&&......&& &&......&.
&&&.....&. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &&&.......
&.&&...... --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &.&&......
..&&&..... --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ..&&&.....
..&.&&.... --# AND AT EASE #-- ..&.&&....
....&&&... ....&&&...
....&.&&.. --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ....&.&&..
......&&&. --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &.....&&&.
......&.&& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&....&.&&
&.......&& .&&.....&&
&&......&. --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- .&&&....&.
&&&....... --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- .&.&&.....
&.&&...... --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ...&&&....
..&&&..... --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &..&.&&...
..&.&&.... --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- .&...&&&..
....&&&... ..&..&.&&.
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:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : . :. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.