RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ¨¨&&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ======================================== ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
---=- - ==- - =- -=
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ § ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.