RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE COMPUTER IS  A VERY  COMMON TOOL  IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. 
 ITS  JOB IS TO  DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS  IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST  WORK  ON  THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING 
 THE  PROBLEM  ON  A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH 
 IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY, SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS   CAN  SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM 
    WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE   
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
         COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)          
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR 
 COMPUTER, OR  TO  THE  DAEMONS DOING THE 
 WORK,   FOR  A   QUICK  AND  FAULT  FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
             AND AT EASE            
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
     OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA    
      OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES     
      (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,     
      THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED       
         TO RESPOND TO THIS)        
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO    BE     A    KIND     OF    PRAYER? 
 AS   IN,   YOU   MAKE   A    CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,    BEAUTIFUL,   AND   USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE   USING  YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D  ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL   OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE    HAS    BUGS,    LOTS   OF    IT.