RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨&&¨¨&¨& ---------------------------------------- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# AND AT EASE #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
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:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.