RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@. @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@..@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..@@@@@@@@
@@@@@..@@. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @..@@@@@@@
@@@@...... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....@@@@@@
@@@..@@@@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@@..@@@@@
@@....@@@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @@....@@@@
@..@@..@@. ...@@..@@@
.......... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@......@@
.@@@@@@@@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @..@@@@...
..@@@@@@@@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....@@..@@
...@@@@@@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@@.......
@@..@@@@@@ OPERATION. @@..@@@@@@
@....@@@@@ @....@@@@@
..@@..@@@@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..@@..@@@@
.......@@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @......@@.
@@@@@@..@@ ..@@@@....
.@@@@....@ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ...@@..@@.
..@@..@@.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @@........
@......... ...@@@@@@@
..@@@@@@@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ @@..@@@@@@
...@@@@@@@ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @....@@@@.
@@..@@@@@@ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..@@..@@..
.....@@@@. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ..........
@@@@..@@.. @@@@@@@@@@
@@@....... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ @@@@@@@@@@
@@..@@@@@@ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @@@@@@@@@@
@....@@@@. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @@@@@@@@@@
..@@..@@.. @@@@@@@@@@
.........@ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @@@@@@@@@.
@@@@@@@@.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @@@@@@@@..
.@@@@@@... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .@@@@@@...
..@@@@..@@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..@@@@..@@
...@@....@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...@@.....
@@....@@.. @@....@@@@
@..@@....@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @..@@..@@@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.