RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.......&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &&&...&...
&&&&&&..&. .&..&...&&
&&&&&..... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ......&..&
&&&&..&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&&.....
.&&....&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&..&&&.
....&&..&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&....&..
&&&....... &&..&&...&
&&..&&&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .......&..
.....&&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&....
&&&&..&&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&&..&&&
&&&....&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&....&&
&&..&&...& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&..&&..&
&......&.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&........
..&&&&.... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...&&&&&&.
&..&&..&&& &&..&&&&..
........&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....&&...
&&&&&&&..& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&....&&
&&&&&&.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&&..&&..&
&&&&&..&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..........
.&&&...... OPERATION. .&&&&&&&&.
..&..&&&&& ..&&&&&&..
&.....&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&&&..&
..&&&..&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&..&&....
&..&...... .......&&&
.....&&&&& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&&&&&..&&
.&&&..&&&& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» .&&&&.....
..&....&&& ..&&..&&&&
....&&..&& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &......&&.
&&&......& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ..&&&&....
.&..&&&&.. »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ...&&..&&.
.....&&..& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &&........
&&&&...... &..&&&&&&&
&&&..&&&&. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ....&&&&&&
&&....&&.. »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&&..&&&&&
&..&&....& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &&....&&&&
......&&.. &..&&..&&&
.&&&&....& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ........&.
..&&..&&.. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &&&&&&&...
&......... »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &&&&&&..&&
..&&&&&&&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&&&&....&
...&&&&&&& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&&&..&&..
&&..&&&&&& .&&......&
&....&&&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ....&&&&..
,,,», , »», , », ,»
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. . † .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.