RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨&¨¨&&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&&¨¨&&¨
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨&
&&¨&&¨&&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨&&¨&&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨& &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&¨&¨&&&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨¨¨¨&&&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&&¨&¨&
&&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&¨&&&&
¨¨&&&&&&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
&¨&&&&¨¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&
&&¨&¨¨&&¨& OPERATION. &&¨¨¨&&&&&
¨¨&&&¨&¨&& &¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨¨&&¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨& &&&¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨¨&&&&¨¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨&&&¨&&&¨¨ &¨&&&¨¨&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&¨&¨&&&&¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& &&&&¨¨&&¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨¨¨&&&&&¨
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨& &&&¨&&¨¨¨&
&&&&¨&¨¨¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨¨&¨&&&¨&
&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&¨&&&¨¨&&
¨&¨¨&&¨&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&&&¨¨&¨&¨
¨&&¨&¨&&¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&¨¨&¨&&&&
&&¨&&&&¨&¨ ¨¨&¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.