RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §§¨¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨§§§§§§§ §¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨§§§§§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. §§§§¨¨¨§§§
§§¨¨¨¨§§§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL §§§¨¨§¨¨§§
§¨¨§§¨¨§§¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ §¨¨§§§§§¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨§
§§§§§§§§§§ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§§§§§§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO §§¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨§§§§§§§§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§§§§§§§ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§¨¨§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
¨§§¨¨§§§§¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §§§§§§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ §§§§§§¨¨§§
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND §§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§§§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨§§§¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§§§¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§¨¨§§§ OPERATION. §§§¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§ ¨§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: §§§§§§¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§ §§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§¨¨§§§§ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨§§§¨¨§§§§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨¨§§§§§§§§ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨§¨¨§§§§¨¨
§¨¨§§§§§§¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» §§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨§§¨¨§ §§§¨¨§§§§§
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨§¨¨¨¨§§§§
§¨¨§§§§§§§ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
¨§§¨¨§§§§¨ ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» §§¨¨§§¨¨§§
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§§§ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨§§§§§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» §¨¨§§§§§§¨
§§§§§§¨¨§§ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨§ §§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
...». . »». . ». .»
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.