RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&&&..&&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &..&..&...
&..&...... ........&&
.....&&&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&..&
.&&&..&&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&&&&....
..&....... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..&&&..&&&
....&&&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...&....&.
&&&..&&&&& &&...&&...
.&....&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ...&....&.
...&&..&&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&...&&...
&&........ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &..&....&&
&..&&&&&&. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .....&&..&
....&&&&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&......
&&&..&&... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&..&&&&&
&&......&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&....&&&&
&..&&&&... ...&&..&&&
....&&..&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&......&&
.&&....... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &..&&&&...
....&&&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....&&..&&
.&&..&&&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&.......
......&&.. OPERATION. ....&&&&&&
.&&&&..... .&&..&&&&.
..&&..&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ......&&..
&......&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&&&....&
..&&&&.... ..&&..&&..
&..&&..&&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .........&
.......... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&&&&&&..
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&..&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&&&&&....
.&&&&&&&&. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&&&..&&.
..&&&&&&.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&&......
&..&&&&..& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&..&&&&&
....&&.... &&....&&&&
.&&....&&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &..&&..&&.
....&&.... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ..........
&&&....&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .&&&&&&&&&
&&..&&..&& ..&&&&&&&&
&........& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ...&&&&&&&
..&&&&&&.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&..&&&&&&
...&&&&... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &....&&&&.
&&..&&..&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..&&..&&..
.......... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..........
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&&&&&&&&
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.