METALS                  
                                    
                                          
 HEY HUM. METALS ARE USED  FOR  MAGIC  OR 
 CONSTRUCTION OF LARGE OR SPECIAL THINGS. 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 COPPER    USED  FOR  CLOCKS AND  BELLS, 
 COMMUNICATING WITH  OLD BEINGS,  AND  BY 
         IDIOTS FOR KILLING TREES         
                                          
 MERCURY    USED  FOR  PROLONGING  LIFE, 
 TRANSFERRING INTO OTHER DIMENSIONS, AND  
          FOR ELECTRICAL LIGHTS           
                                          
 SILVER   THE MOON METAL,  USED  TO LURE 
 AND  COMMUNICATE  WITH CANINES,  AND  TO 
     KEEP SAFE DURING MOONLIT NIGHTS      
                                          
           BRONZE IS ALSO GOOD.           
                                          
           IRON IS A NOOB METAL