METALS                  
                                    
                                          
 HEY HUM.  METALS  ARE USED FOR  MAGIC OR 
 CONSTRUCTION OF LARGE OR SPECIAL THINGS. 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 COPPER    USED  FOR CLOCKS  AND  BELLS, 
 COMMUNICATING  WITH  OLD BEINGS, AND  BY 
         IDIOTS FOR KILLING TREES         
                                          
 MERCURY    USED  FOR  PROLONGING  LIFE, 
  TRANSFERRING INTO OTHER DIMENSIONS, AND 
          FOR ELECTRICAL LIGHTS           
                                          
 SILVER   THE  MOON  METAL, USED TO LURE 
 AND  COMMUNICATE WITH  CANINES,  AND  TO 
      KEEP SAFE DURING MOONLIT NIGHTS     
                                          
           BRONZE IS ALSO GOOD.           
                                          
           IRON IS A NOOB METAL