RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&&¨¨&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨&¨¨&&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.