RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨¨&&&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&&&&&¨¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&&¨¨¨&&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&&&¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&&&&¨¨&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&&&&¨¨&
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& &&¨¨¨&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&&¨¨&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&&&¨¨& OPERATION. &&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨¨&&&&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&&&¨ ¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&¨¨&&&&&&& &&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&¨¨&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&&&&&&&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&&&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨&&&&&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨&&&&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&&&&¨¨&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ &&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.