RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@@¨¨@@¨@@ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨
¨@¨@¨@¨@@¨ ¨@@¨¨@@¨¨¨
¨@@@@@@@¨@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@¨@¨@¨@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨@@@@@@@¨
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@
@@¨@¨¨¨¨@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@@@¨¨¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@
@¨@¨¨@¨¨@@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@@@@@¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨@@¨@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@
@@¨¨@@¨@@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @¨¨¨¨¨@@¨@
¨¨@¨@¨@@¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@@
@¨@@@@@¨@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨@@¨¨¨@@@¨
@@@¨¨¨¨@@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨@¨¨@¨¨@
¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨@@@¨@@¨@
@¨¨@@¨¨@@¨ @¨@¨¨@@¨@@
¨@¨@¨@¨@¨@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@@@¨@¨@@¨
¨@@@@@@@@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨@@@@¨@
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@
¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@¨
¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. @¨¨¨@¨@¨@@
@¨@¨@¨¨¨¨¨ @@¨¨@@@@@¨
@@@@@@¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨@@@@¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨@@¨¨ @¨@¨¨¨@¨¨@
¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨@@@¨¨@@¨@
@@@¨¨¨@@@@ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@@
¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨ @@@¨@@@@@¨
¨¨¨@@¨@@¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» @¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@
@¨¨@¨@@¨@¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨@¨@¨@¨¨¨@
¨@¨@@@¨@@@ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» @@@@@@@¨¨@
@@@@¨¨@@¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨@
¨¨¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@
@¨¨¨@@@@@@ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» @¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨
@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@¨
@¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨@
¨@@@@¨@¨¨¨ ¨@¨@¨¨¨@@@
@@¨¨¨@@@¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» @@@@@¨¨@¨¨
@¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨
@@@@¨@@¨@@ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨@
¨¨¨¨@@¨@@¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@@
@¨¨¨@¨@@¨@ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» @¨¨¨¨@@¨@¨
@@¨¨@@@¨@@ @@¨¨¨@¨@@@
¨¨@¨@¨¨@@¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨@¨¨@@@¨¨
...». . »». . ». .»
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.