dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for   a  second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in  my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely calm.  it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but i  must  try  to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief,  such is my  nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my  eyes are still tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if  you wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick  on the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do  with a cat 
 who comes to close  to  your sandwich...