RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@¨¨@@¨¨@¨@ ======================================== @@¨@@¨@@@@
¨@¨@¨@¨@@@ ¨¨@@¨@@¨¨¨
¨@@@@@@@¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨@¨@@¨@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨@@@¨@@@¨
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @¨@¨¨@@¨¨@
@@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@@@¨@¨@¨@
¨¨@@@¨¨¨@@ @¨¨¨@@@@@@
@¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@¨@@¨@@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨
@¨¨¨@@¨@@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨@@@@¨@¨¨¨
@@¨¨@¨@@¨@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨@¨¨¨@@@¨¨
@¨@¨@@@¨@@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨@@¨¨@¨¨@¨
@@@@@¨¨@@¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨@¨@@¨@@
¨¨¨¨¨@¨@¨@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨@@@@¨@@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@@@@@ ¨¨@¨¨¨@@¨@
@¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @¨@@¨¨@¨@@
¨@¨¨¨@@¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨@@¨@¨@@@¨
¨@@¨¨@¨@¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @@¨@@@@¨¨@
@@¨@¨@@@@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨@@¨¨¨@¨@
¨¨@@@@¨¨¨@ OPERATION. @¨@¨@¨¨@@@
@¨@¨¨¨@¨¨@ ¨@@@@@¨@¨¨
@@@@¨¨@@¨@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@¨¨¨¨@@@¨
@¨¨¨@¨@¨@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@@¨¨¨@¨¨@
¨@¨¨@@@@@¨ @¨¨@¨¨@@¨@
@@@¨@¨¨¨¨@ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨@¨@@¨@¨@@
¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨@ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨@@@¨@@@@¨
¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨@ @@¨¨@@¨¨¨@
@¨¨@@¨@@¨@ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== @¨@¨@¨@¨¨@
¨@¨@¨@@¨@@ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== @@@@@@@@¨@
@@@@@@¨@@¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
¨¨¨¨¨¨@@¨@ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨@@ @¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
@¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨
@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨@ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@@
¨¨@¨¨¨@@¨@ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨@@¨¨@¨@@ @@@@@¨¨¨@@
@¨@¨@¨@@@¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@¨
@@@@@@@¨¨@ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== @¨¨¨¨@@¨@@
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨@ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨@¨¨¨@¨@@¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== @@@¨¨@@@¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨¨@¨@¨¨@@
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@¨ @¨¨@@@@¨@¨
¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨@ ======================================== ¨@¨@¨¨¨@@@
...=. . ==. . =. .=
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.