RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&&&&¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&&&&&¨&
¨&&&¨¨&&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨&¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&&&&&¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&&&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&¨¨&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&¨&&&¨¨¨
&&¨&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&&&¨&¨&&¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨&&&&¨&
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ &¨&¨&¨¨¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&&¨¨&¨
&&¨&&¨&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
&¨&&&¨&&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&&¨¨&&¨&¨ &¨&&&&&¨&&
&&¨&¨&¨&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&¨&&&&&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&&
&&¨&¨¨¨¨&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨&&&&&&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨&& &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&&&¨&&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&¨¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨&&¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
&&&&&¨&¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨&&&&&&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨&&&&¨ &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
&¨&¨&&¨¨¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&&&&¨&¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&& ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
:::~: : ~~: : ~: :~
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.