RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.@@......@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .@@@......
....@@@@.. ..@..@@@@@
.@@..@@..@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ......@@@.
.......... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@@@@..@..
@@@@@@@@@. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .@@@.....@
@@@@@@@@.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..@..@@@..
.@@@@@@..@ @.....@...
..@@@@.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..@@@...@@
...@@..@@@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...@..@...
@@......@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@......@@
@..@@@@..@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...@@@@..@
....@@.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @@..@@....
@@@....@@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .......@@@
@@..@@..@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @@@@@@..@@
@......... .@@@@....@
..@@@@@@@@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..@@..@@..
@..@@@@@@. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @........@
....@@@@.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..@@@@@@..
@@@..@@..@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @..@@@@..@
@@........ OPERATION. ....@@....
...@@@@@@. .@@....@@.
@@..@@@@.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ....@@....
.....@@..@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@@....@@.
@@@@...... @@..@@....
.@@..@@@@. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .......@@.
......@@.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @@@@@@....
@@@@@..... .@@@@..@@@
@@@@..@@@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ..@@....@@
@@@....@@. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .....@@..@
@@..@@.... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ @@@@......
.......@@. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@@..@@@@.
@@@@@@.... @@....@@..
.@@@@..@@. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ @..@@.....
..@@...... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ......@@@@
.....@@@@@ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @@@@@..@@.
@@@@..@@@@ @@@@......
.@@....@@. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ .@@..@@@@.
....@@.... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ......@@..
@@@....@@@ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .@@@@....@
@@..@@..@@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..@@..@@..
.......... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..........
@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @@@@@@@@@@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.