RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&&¨¨&& &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&&&&&&¨
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&& &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨&¨¨&&&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&¨¨&&&&
¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&¨¨& ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨&&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨&&&&&&¨ &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&¨¨&&&&¨
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨¨&&&&¨¨&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨& »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&&¨¨¨¨& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &&&&&&&&&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.