RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ ======================================== ¨&&&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨&¨&&&&
¨&&&&¨¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&&&¨&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&
&¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨&¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨&&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨ OPERATION. &&&&&&¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨¨&&&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&
&&¨&&&&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ &¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨¨&& ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &&&&¨¨&¨¨&
&¨&&&&¨¨&¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨¨¨&&&¨&&
&&¨&¨¨&&&¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&¨&&&¨&¨¨& ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== &&¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨&&¨¨&&&¨& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨&¨&¨&&&&
&&¨&¨&¨¨&& ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
&¨&&&&&¨&¨ &¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨&&&¨¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&¨¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨¨&&¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== &¨&¨&&¨&&&
&&&&¨&¨&¨& ¨&&&&¨&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&&& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &&¨¨¨&&¨&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&&
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &¨&&¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&¨¨¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== &&&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨¨&&¨&¨&&
&¨&&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨&&&&¨
&&&¨&&&¨&& ======================================== ¨&¨&&&¨¨¨&
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.