RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&&...&.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .&&..&&&..
.&.&&...&. .&&&.&.&&.
...&&&...& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&.&...&&&
&..&.&&... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....&..&.&
&&...&&&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .....&...&
.&&..&.&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ......&..&
.&&&...&&& .......&..
.&.&&..&.& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ........&.
...&&&...& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &........&
&..&.&&..& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&........
.&...&&&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&.......
..&..&.&&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &..&......
...&...&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&..&.....
....&..&.& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&..&....
.....&...& &..&..&...
......&..& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&..&..&..
.......&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&..&..&.
........&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &.&&..&..&
&........& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..&&&..&..
.&........ OPERATION. ..&.&&..&.
..&....... ....&&&..&
&..&...... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ....&.&&..
.&..&..... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &.....&&&.
..&..&.... &&....&.&&
&..&..&... »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&&.....&&
&&..&..&.. »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &.&&....&.
&&&..&..&. ..&&&.....
&.&&..&..& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ..&.&&....
..&&&..&.. »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ....&&&...
..&.&&..&. »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ....&.&&..
....&&&..& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &.....&&&.
....&.&&.. &&....&.&&
&.....&&&. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &&&.....&&
&&....&.&& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &.&&....&.
&&&.....&& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ..&&&.....
&.&&....&. ..&.&&....
..&&&..... »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &...&&&...
..&.&&.... »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &&..&.&&..
....&&&... »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» .&&...&&&.
....&.&&.. »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» .&&&..&.&&
&.....&&&. »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» .&.&&...&&
&&....&.&& ...&&&..&.
&&&.....&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...&.&&...
~~~»~ ~ »»~ ~ »~ ~»
~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.