RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
...&..&... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&..&...&
&...&..&.. ...&..&...
.&...&..&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ....&..&..
..&...&..& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &....&..&.
...&...&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&....&..&
&...&...&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&....&..
.&...&...& &.&&....&.
..&...&... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..&&&....&
&..&...&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..&.&&....
.&..&...&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ....&&&...
..&..&...& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ....&.&&..
...&..&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &.....&&&.
....&..&.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&....&.&&
&....&..&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&.....&&
&&....&..& ...&....&.
&&&....&.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &...&.....
&.&&....&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&...&....
..&&&....& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..&...&...
..&.&&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &..&...&..
....&&&... OPERATION. .&..&...&.
....&.&&.. ..&..&...&
&.....&&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &..&..&...
.&....&.&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&..&..&..
..&.....&& ..&..&..&.
...&....&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &..&..&..&
&...&..... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&..&..&..
.&...&.... .&&..&..&.
..&...&... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .&&&..&..&
&..&...&.. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .&.&&..&..
.&..&...&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ...&&&..&.
..&..&...& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ...&.&&..&
&..&..&... &....&&&..
.&..&..&.. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&...&.&&.
..&..&..&. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&....&&&
&..&..&..& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &.&&...&.&
&&..&..&.. ..&&&....&
.&&..&..&. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&.&&...&
.&&&..&..& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &...&&&...
.&.&&..&.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&..&.&&..
...&&&..&. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .&&...&&&.
...&.&&..& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .&&&..&.&&
&....&&&.. .&.&&...&&
&&...&.&&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...&&&..&.
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.