RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¨
¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¤ ¤¤¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤
¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¤ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨
¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¨
¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨
¤¤¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤
¤¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ ¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤
¨¨¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¤ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¤
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¤ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¨¨
¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤
¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨
¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¤¤ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤
¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤¤
¨¤¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¤ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤
¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤
¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¨ ¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨
¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¨
¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨
¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤ ¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¤ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¨
¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¨ ¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¤ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¨
¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¨¨¤ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¨¨
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¤¤¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¤¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¤
¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¨¨ ¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤
¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¨
¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¨¨¤ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¤¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨
¤¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨ ¤¤¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¤¤ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¤¤¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¤
¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¤¨¨¤¤¨¨¤¤¨
¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¤¤¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¤¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¤¤ ¨¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¤¤¨¨¤¤¤¤¤¤
:::«: : ««: : «: :«
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.