RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE COMPUTER  IS  A VERY COMMON TOOL  IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME  WAYS EVEN NOW. 
 ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS  OF  SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS  IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST WORK  ON  THE PRINCIPLES  OF POSING 
 THE PROBLEM ON A  HILBERT  PLANE,  WHICH 
 IS THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE  THE   PROBLEM 
   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS TO PRAY  TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR 
 COMPUTER, OR TO  THE  DAEMONS  DOING THE 
 WORK,  FOR   A  QUICK  AND  FAULT   FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
            AND AT EASE             
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
    OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA     
      OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES     
      (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,     
      THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED       
        TO RESPOND TO THIS)         
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO    BE     A    KIND    OF     PRAYER? 
 AS   IN,   YOU    MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,    AND   USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE  USING   YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE    HAS   BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.