dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits   me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all  over my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding  trenches in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in  my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize i  can't hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on  the  nose, that's 
 what  these are. like you do with  a cat 
 who  comes to close  to your sandwich...