RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&&&¨&¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&&& &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨&¨&¨&&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&
&&&&&&¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ¨&¨¨&¨&&&&
¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨¨&¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&¨¨&&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&&&&¨&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨&&&&¨&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&&&¨¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&¨&&¨&&
&¨&¨&&¨&&& ¨¨¨&&&¨&&¨
&&&&&¨&&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨&&¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨&¨&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&&&¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
&¨&&¨&&¨&& ¨¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&&¨&&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&&&&¨&&
&&¨&&¨&&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&¨&&¨&&¨&& ¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨&&¨&&¨&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&¨&&¨&&¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&&¨&&¨&& &¨&¨¨&&&&¨
&&&¨&&¨&&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨&&&¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&&¨&&¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&&&¨&&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨&&&&¨&&&
&&&&¨¨&&¨& &¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&¨&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &&&&¨¨&¨&¨
&&¨¨&&&&&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨¨¨&¨&&&&
¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨& ¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨&&¨&&¨&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨&&¨&&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨&&¨&&¨&&
¨&&&&&&&&¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &¨&¨&&¨&&¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨&&&&¨&&¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨&¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.