RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.#........ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ..#..###..
..#....... ...#.#.##.
...#...... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #......###
#...#..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .#.....#.#
##...#.... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..#......#
.##...#... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #..#.....#
.###...#.. ##..#.....
.#.##...#. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ###..#....
...###...# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #.##..#...
...#.##... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..###..#..
.....###.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..#.##..#.
.....#.##. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....###..#
#......### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....#.##..
.#.....#.# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #.....###.
..#......# .#....#.##
#..#.....# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..#.....##
##..#..... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...#....#.
###..#.... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #...#.....
#.##..#... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#...#....
..###..#.. OPERATION. ..#...#...
..#.##..#. ...#...#..
....###..# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #...#...#.
....#.##.. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##...#...#
#.....###. ###...#...
.#....#.## ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« #.##...#..
..#.....## ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ..###...#.
...#....#. ..#.##...#
#...#..... ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ....###...
.#...#.... ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ....#.##..
..#...#... ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« #.....###.
...#...#.. ««# AND AT EASE #«« .#....#.##
#...#...#. ..#.....##
##...#...# ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« #..#....#.
###...#... ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« .#..#.....
#.##...#.. ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ..#..#....
..###...#. ...#..#...
..#.##...# ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ....#..#..
....###... ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« .....#..#.
....#.##.. ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ......#..#
#.....###. ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« #......#..
.#....#.## ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« .#......#.
..#.....## ..#......#
#..#....#. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ...#......
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . * .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.