RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨¨&&&¨& ---------------------------------------- ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨&&¨¨&¨¨&& ¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&¨¨&&&
¨¨&&&&¨&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨&&&& ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&&&&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&&&&¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&&&¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&&&&&&&&
&¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&¨¨& &¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&&&¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&& OPERATION. &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨&&¨¨&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&¨&&¨&¨
&&&¨&¨&&&& ¨¨¨&&&¨&&&
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ¨&¨&&¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ ¨&&&¨&&&&&
&¨¨&¨&¨&¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&&¨&&&&&&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&¨&&&&&¨¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨ --# AND AT EASE #-- &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ &&&¨&¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨&&&&¨&&¨¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&¨&¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&¨&&¨&&&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&&& ¨¨&&¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨&&&¨¨ --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨&&&¨&&&&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&&&&¨ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&&¨&&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨& ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨&
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, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.