RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨##¨¨¨¨###
¨¨######## ¨¨¨¨##¨¨##
¨¨¨####### THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
##¨¨###### THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨######
#¨¨¨¨####¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###¨¨#####
¨¨##¨¨##¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ##¨¨¨¨####
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ¨¨¨##¨¨##¨
########¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨######¨¨# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨¨######¨
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨####¨¨
#¨¨##¨¨##¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨##¨¨##¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
########## DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ##########
########## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##########
########## ¨#########
########## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨########
########## CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨¨#######
########## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨######
########## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ###¨¨#####
########## OPERATION. ##¨¨¨¨####
########## #¨¨##¨¨###
#########¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨##
########¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨######¨¨#
#######¨¨¨ ¨¨####¨¨¨¨
¨#####¨¨## ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨##¨¨##¨
¨¨###¨¨¨¨# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
#¨¨#¨¨##¨¨ ¨¨¨#######
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ##¨¨######
¨######### ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨####¨
¨¨#######¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ####¨¨##¨¨
#¨¨#####¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ###¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨¨###¨¨# ##¨¨####¨¨
###¨¨#¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #¨¨¨¨##¨¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨##¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #¨¨¨¨####¨
##¨¨#¨¨##¨ ¨¨##¨¨##¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
########## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ##########
########## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##########
########## ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##########
########## ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ##########
########## ##########
########## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##########
:::~: : ~~: : ~: :~
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ ^ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.