RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ &&&&&&&&&&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&&&&&&&
¨&&&&&&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&&&&&&¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ &&¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&¨¨&¨¨&&
&&&&&&&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&&&&&¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨¨¨&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&&&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&& OPERATION. ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&&&&& ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨&&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ &&&&&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&&&&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&&&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&&¨¨&&&&¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨&& &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
¨&&&&¨¨&&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨&&&&&&&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.