RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE  COMPUTER IS A  VERY  COMMON TOOL IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN  SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. 
 ITS  JOB IS  TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT  AMOUNT OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST  WORK ON THE  PRINCIPLES OF  POSING 
 THE PROBLEM ON  A HILBERT  PLANE,  WHICH 
 IS  THEN  FOLDED OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS  CAN   SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM 
   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR 
 COMPUTER,  OR TO  THE  DAEMONS DOING THE 
 WORK,  FOR  A  QUICK  AND   FAULT   FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
             AND AT EASE            
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
    OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA     
     OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES      
      (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,     
      THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED       
        TO RESPOND TO THIS)         
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO    BE    A     KIND    OF     PRAYER? 
 AS   IN,   YOU   MAKE   A    CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,    BEAUTIFUL,   AND   USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS   IN,  YOU'RE  USING  YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D  ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL   OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.