RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§¨¨§§ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨§§§§§§§§§
§§§§¨¨§§§§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨§§§§§§§§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL §¨¨§§§§§§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨§§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨ ¨§§¨¨§§§§§
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨§§§§¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§§§¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
§§¨¨§§§§¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §§¨¨§§§§§§
§§§¨¨§§§§§ ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§
§§¨¨¨¨§§§§ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND §§§§¨¨§§§§
§¨¨§§¨¨§§§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
¨§§§§§§¨¨§ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨§§§§§§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§ ¨§§¨¨§§§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
§§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨ ¨¨§§¨¨§§§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» §§§§§§¨¨§§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§ ¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨§§¨¨§§§§
§¨¨§§§§¨¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨§§§§¨¨§§
¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨ §§¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨§§¨¨§§¨¨§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» §¨¨§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §§§§§§§§§§
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.