RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE COMPUTER IS A  VERY COMMON  TOOL  IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS  EVEN NOW. 
 ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST  AMOUNTS  OF SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT  OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST  WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES  OF  POSING 
 THE PROBLEM ON  A  HILBERT  PLANE, WHICH 
 IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY, SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS  CAN   SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM 
   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
         COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)          
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS  TO PRAY TO  THE "GODS" OF  THEIR 
 COMPUTER, OR  TO THE  DAEMONS DOING  THE 
 WORK,  FOR  A  QUICK   AND   FAULT  FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
            AND AT EASE             
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
    OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA     
      OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES     
     (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,      
       THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED      
        TO RESPOND TO THIS)         
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO     BE    A     KIND    OF    PRAYER? 
 AS   IN,   YOU   MAKE   A    CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,    AND   USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE  USING   YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D  ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL   OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE    HAS    BUGS,    LOTS   OF    IT.