RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¤¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¤ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤ ¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¤ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤
¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤
¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤
¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨
¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨ ¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤
¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¤ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨
¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¨¤ ¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨
¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨¨¤ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨
¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨
¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨
¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨
¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤¨¨ ¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤¤¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨
¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨¤¤ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨
¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¤ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨
¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¤¨ ¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨
¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨
¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤
¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨
¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤¨
¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¤
¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨¤ ¤¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¨¨
¨¤¨¨¤¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¤¨¨¨¤¨¨¤¨
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.