RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨###¨¨¨#¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ###¨##¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨### ¨¨##¨#¨¨¨¨
##¨##¨#¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨#¨###¨¨¨¨
¨##¨###¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ###¨¨#¨¨¨#
#¨##¨¨#¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨#¨##¨¨##
##¨#¨##¨¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨###¨#¨#¨¨
¨####¨#¨#¨ #¨¨#####¨#
#¨¨¨#####¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨#¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ###¨¨¨#¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨##¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨#¨¨##¨¨#
##¨#¨¨#¨#¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨##¨#¨#¨#¨
¨###¨####¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #¨########
#¨¨##¨¨¨#¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
#¨#¨#¨¨##¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨
#####¨#¨## ##¨¨¨¨¨###
¨¨¨¨####¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ##¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨¨##¨¨##¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨#¨#¨### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##¨####¨¨¨
#######¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨##¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ #¨#¨¨##¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ###¨#¨#¨##
¨¨¨¨#¨#¨#¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨######¨#
¨¨¨####### ¨#¨¨¨¨¨###
¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ##¨¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨¨## ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨#¨¨¨##¨##
#¨#¨¨¨¨#¨# ##¨¨#¨##¨#
###¨¨¨#### ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨#¨###¨##¨
¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ###¨¨##¨##
¨##¨##¨¨## ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨#¨#¨##¨#
#¨##¨#¨#¨# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨#####¨###
##¨####### #¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #¨¨¨#¨#¨¨#
#¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #¨¨####¨##
###¨¨¨¨##¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #¨#¨¨¨##¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨ ###¨¨#¨#¨#
¨##¨¨####¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨#¨######
#¨#¨#¨¨¨#¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨###¨¨¨¨¨#
#####¨¨### ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨¨¨#¨#¨¨# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #¨##¨¨¨###
¨¨¨####¨#¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ##¨#¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨#¨¨¨###¨ ¨###¨##¨##
¨##¨¨#¨¨## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨¨##¨##¨#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.