RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
........#. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .###......
#######... ..#..#####
######..#. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ......####
#####..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #####..###
####..#### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .###....##
###....### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..#..##..#
##..##..#. ..........
.......... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #########.
########## THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ########..
.######### IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #######...
..######## THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .#####..##
...####### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..###.....
##..#####. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #..#..####
#....###.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .......###
..##..#... ######..##
........## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #####.....
#######... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ####..####
######..## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ###....###
#####..... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##..##..##
####..#### OPERATION. #........#
###....### ..######..
.#..##..## SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...####...
.........# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##..##..##
.#######.. #.........
..#####... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ..########
...###..## ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ #..######.
##..#..... ....####..
......#### ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .##..##...
#####..##. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ........##
####...... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #######..#
###..####. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ######....
.#....##.. .####..##.
...##..... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..##......
##....#### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .....#####
#..##..### ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ####..####
........## .##....###
.######..# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ....##..#.
..####.... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ###.......
#..##..### ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##..######
........## ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #....#####
.######..# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..##..###.
..####.... .......#..
#..##..##. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ######...#
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
. . † .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.