RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@@@@¨@@@¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@
@@¨¨¨@@¨¨@ ¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@¨¨@¨@¨@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨@¨@¨¨¨@
@¨@@¨@@@@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨@@@@¨¨@
¨@@¨@@¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @¨¨@¨¨¨@¨@
@@¨@@¨@¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@¨@@¨¨@@@
¨¨@@¨@@@¨¨ @¨@@¨@¨@¨¨
¨¨@¨@@¨¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@@¨@@@@@¨
¨¨@@@¨@¨@@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@
@¨@¨¨@@@@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨@¨@¨@¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨@¨¨¨@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @@@@@@@¨¨@
@@¨¨@@@¨¨@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨@
¨¨@¨@¨¨@¨@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨¨¨¨¨@@@
@¨@@@@¨@@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨@¨¨¨¨@¨¨
@@@¨¨¨@@¨¨ ¨¨@@¨¨¨@@¨
@¨¨@¨¨@¨@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @¨@¨@¨¨@¨@
¨@¨@@¨@@@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@@@@¨@@@
@@@@¨@@¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @¨¨¨¨¨@@¨¨
@¨¨¨@@¨@¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@¨¨¨¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@@@¨ OPERATION. @¨@¨¨¨@@@@
¨¨@¨@@@¨¨@ ¨@@@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨@@@¨¨@¨@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @@¨¨@¨@@¨¨
¨¨@¨¨@¨@@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨@¨@@@¨@¨
¨¨@@¨@@@¨¨ @¨@@@¨¨@@@
@¨@¨@@¨¨@¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨@@¨¨@¨@¨¨
@@@@@¨@¨@@ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» @@¨@¨@@@@¨
@¨¨¨¨@@@@¨ ¨¨@@@@¨¨¨@
¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨@ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨@
@@@¨¨@@¨¨@ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨¨@@¨¨@@¨@
¨¨¨@¨@¨@¨@ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» @¨@¨@¨@¨@@
@¨¨@@@@@@@ »»# AND AT EASE #»» @@@@@@@@@¨
@@¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨ @¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» @@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@
@¨@¨¨@¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨@@¨¨¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨@
@@¨¨@@¨@¨¨ ¨¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@¨@¨@@@¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» @¨@@@@¨¨¨@
@¨@@@@@¨¨@ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨@@¨¨¨@¨¨@
¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨@ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨@¨@¨¨@@¨@
@@¨@¨¨¨@@@ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨@@@@¨@¨@@
¨¨@@@¨¨@¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» @@¨¨¨@@@@¨
¨¨@¨¨@¨@@¨ ¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨@
@¨@@¨@@@¨@ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» @¨@@¨@@¨¨@
...». . »». . ». .»
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.