RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨##¨##¨¨## ======================================== ¨########¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨¨#######¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨#¨######¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨#¨¨#####¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨#¨#¨####¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨#¨#¨¨###¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# OPERATION. ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨#¨¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ======================================== ¨#¨#¨#¨##¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.