RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&..&&.&& ---------------------------------------- &...&&...&
...&.&.&&. &&..&.&..&
&..&&&&&.& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&.&&&&.&
.&.&....&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..&&&...&&
&&&&&...&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &.&..&..&.
&....&..&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&&.&&.&&
.&...&&.&. .&..&&.&&.
.&&..&.&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&.&.&&.&
&&.&.&&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &..&&&&.&&
..&&&&..&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&.&...&&.
..&...&.&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&&..&.&
&.&&..&&&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &.&..&.&&&
.&&.&.&..& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&.&&&..
.&.&&&&&.& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....&&..&.
.&&&....&& &...&.&.&&
&&..&...&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&..&&&&&.
&.&.&&..&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&&.&....&
.&&&&.&.&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&.&&&...&
&&...&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&&..&..&
..&..&.... OPERATION. .&..&.&&.&
&.&&.&&... &&&.&&&.&&
.&&.&&.&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&..&&.
.&.&&.&&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ...&.&.&.&
&&&&.&&..& ...&&&&&&&
....&&.&.& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &..&......
....&.&&&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .&.&&.....
....&&&... .&&&.&....
....&..&.. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &&..&&&...
....&&.&&. --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &.&.&..&..
....&.&&.& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- .&&&&&.&&.
....&&&.&& --# AND AT EASE #-- .&....&&.&
&...&..&&. &&&...&.&&
.&..&&.&.& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &..&..&&&.
.&&.&.&&&& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- .&.&&.&..&
&&.&&&&... --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&&&.&&&.&
..&&...&.. &...&&..&&
&.&.&..&&. --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- .&..&.&.&.
&&&&&&.&.& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- .&&.&&&&&&
......&&&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- .&.&&.....
......&... --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &&&&.&....
......&&.. --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &...&&&...
......&.&. .&..&..&..
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...-. . --. . -. .-
. .. . . . .. .
. . ยง .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.