dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start   to  piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile.  i can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my nature. turning  the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense  though, scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on  the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you  do with a cat 
 who comes to  close to  your sandwich...